WELCOME TO MY WORLD

Money Crisis

2008-11-30T20:21:00.003+01:00

Salamun alaikum

Crisis, what crisis, an album from a band called Supertramp had a song called Poor Boy, and it seems fitting these days. Here are the lyrics;

Can you believe me when I say, "There's nothin' I like better"
Than just to sit here and talk with you
Although I'll rant and I'll rave about one thing and another
The beauty of it is so pure to me, though
I'm a poor boy
I can still be happy as long as I can feel free

So many people I know, get old way too early
(Well are you feelin' kind of weary?)
Just to impress you with the money they've made
(You better, you better, you better change your theory)
One drop of rain, they complain
It's the same about the ways they're earning

Well, that is not the way I'm gonna be
Don't mind the rain, don't mind snow, don't mind nothin'
If I know, you will be right here with me

We'll let her stay, don't mind a point of view
How can we all afford to live like you?
This simply life is simply not enough
We have no grievances, we must be tough

(Poor boy)
If that's the way it's gonna be
(Poor boy)
It's you for you and me for me
(Poor boy)

I've tried all I can, understanding, all the fools and all their money
When half of what they've got, you know they never will use
Enough to get by, suits me fine, I don't care if they think I'm funny
I'm never gonna change my point of view

Don't mind the rain, don't mind snow, don't mind nothin'
If I know, you will be right here with me, all the way
Na na na
Don't mind the rain, don't mind snow, dont' mind nothin'
If I know, you will be right here with me

once there were a song with these words.

Today there is a world wide economic crisis and I do not pretend in any way to understand it or have any solution. I will just ask you to read this article first, “An article on banking”. It is found on;

http://www.box.net/shared/jwchv9z400

There you download and read the file “Anarticleonbanking.doc” There are other books there to read for free also, but this time I ask you to read the article on banking and money creation.

As you can see on this article and the links found therein, the creation of money is come to be a way for enslavement instead a blessing. Linked to the modern money system are interests and shares.

The Holy Quran tell us to earn our money on work, trade or investment, not earning from money (like having money in the bank and earn interest = usury).

Quran 2:275. Those who consume usury do not rise except as one being influenced by the devil’s touch. That is because they have said: “Trade is the same as usury.”

While God has made trade lawful, and He has forbidden usury. Whoever has received understanding from His Lord and ceases, then he will be forgiven for what was before this and his case will be with God. But whoever returns, then they are the people of the Fire, in it they will abide eternally.

Quran 2:276. God condemns usury, and He grants growth to the charities. And God does not like any wicked sinner.

Quran 2:277. Those who believe and do good works, and honor the affirmation, and contribute towards betterment; they will have their rewards with their Lord and there is no fear over them nor will they grieve.

Quran 2:278. O you who believe, be aware of God and give up what is left from usury, if you are truly believers.

Quran 2:279. And if you will not do this, then take notice of a war from God and His messenger; but if you repent, then you will have back your principal money, you will not be wronged nor will you wrong.

Quran 4:161. And for their taking of usury, while they were told not to do so, and for them consuming peoples money unjustly. We have prepared for the disbelievers amongst them a painful retribution.

There are other verses about how to earn our money and about usury. I hope more clever people than me will study this and come up with an economic system along the guidelines of Allah. This is needed in this world as the system of today with its cyclic crashes that harms so many people.

I know many Muslims today seem to think that normal bank-interest is OK, and living in this world it seem to be the only way to get your own home by borrowing money from the bank. We had to borrow money in the bank for steep interest, and every month we pay mostly interest and a small down payment.

This can not be right, and according to the Holy Quran it is NOT right. So my question to you all is; “What can we do?”

Many of the companies going broke today have a board of directors earning millions of dollars yearly. And these days they ask for government help, our help, and still they give themselves big bonuses; Greed, plain greed.

Since people without fear of Allah and judgment have no boundaries for their materialistic greed, so society needs to have laws and regulations to balance this behavior.

Many scream socialism and any –ism when there is talk about tax and regulations, but the reality is that we all need laws and the laws need to be aligned to Truth.

We as Muslims know this, we believe in the greatest law-giver of all, Allah the Exalted. So we Muslims should develop a new politic, free for tribalism, greed, fear and a system where those in power are truly the peoples servants. I do believe we need this now, and we all know what we don’t want as well as much of what we do want.

So brother and sister, go into politic, hold dear to the principles found in the Holy Quran and change the world. Make sure when seeking guidance you use the only fully detailed book on these matters, namely the Holy Quran.

May Allah bless us all.

PS. This article was written by Bahr.

Fasting

2008-10-29T10:00:00.002+01:00

Salamun alaikum

Today I will share my new found thoughts on fasting ("asshiyaamu"). As you may have understood I do not follow the majority of Muslims. I have rather distanced myself from their erroneous beliefs. There are many persons and groups I have been guided by; links are given on my site. I do follow the Quran and truly believe it to be FULLY detailed as Allah state there.

We Muslims have just finished fasting in the month of Ramadan; ie. not eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. This is what the majority understand as fasting. So what does the Holy Quran say about fasting:

2:183. O you who believe, fasting ("asshiyaamu") has been decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you, perhaps you may be righteous.

2:184. A few number of days; however, if any of you is ill or traveling, then the same number from different days; and as for those who can do so but with difficulty, they may redeem by feeding the needy. And whoever does good voluntarily, then it is better for him. And if you fast it is better for you if you knew.

2:185. A month, Ramadhan (marked by heat), in which the Quran was revealed; as a guide to the people and a clarification of the guidance and the criterion. Therefore, whoever of you witnesses the month, then let him fast therein. And whoever is ill or traveling, then the same number from different days. God wants to bring you ease and not to bring you hardship; and so that you may complete the count, and glorify God for what He has guided you, that you may be thankful.

2:186. And if My servants ask you about Me, I am near answering the calls of those who call to Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me that they may be guided.

2:187. It has been made lawful for you during the night of fasting ("assiyaami") to approach your women sexually. They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them. God knows that you used to betray your souls so He has accepted your repentance, and forgiven you; now you may approach them and seek what God has written for you. And you may eat and drink until the white thread is distinct from the black thread of dawn; then you shall complete the fast ("assiyaama") to the night; and do not approach them while you are devoted in the temples. These are God’s boundaries, so do not transgress them. It is thus that God makes His revelations clear to the people that they may be righteous.

Why do we fast? To celebrate that Allah sent the Holy Quran to Mohammed, peace and blessings be upon him.
Ramadan; the word means early autumn 2:185.
So the fast should be inside a month in early autumn. The Quran surah 17:12 tells us about the day and night and the sun as timing devices. That means the calendar system according to Allah’s deen is a solar one. Therefore the Ramadan should be at the same time every year. A year is defined as the Earth rotating around the sun one full circle. A day is defined as the earth rotating around itself in relation to the sun one circle.
How long should we fast, 2:184 say clearly a few numbered days, and one night (2:186).

So my conclusion is that fasting is two days with the night in between.

But dear reader does it really say “Do not eat during the day”? Is it not a serious business if Allah commands us to do or not to do anything? The whole Quran is full of no-nonsense commands and guidance in clear language. So does "asshiyaamu" really mean fasting (not to eat and drink during the day)?

19:26 So savour* it, and relax, and when you see anyone, then say, "I have pledged to the Almighty a "syauman"; therefore I shall not converse, today to anyone.'"

From the above verses it is easy to figure out what Mary was saying, and what her actions were in keeping with her pledge. Was she 'fasting' in the ordinary way? By Aidid Safar (http://aididsafar.com/fast.html)

Below are the other verses mentioning fast.

4:92. And it is not for a believer to kill another believer except by accident. And whoever kills a believer by accident, then he shall set free a believing slave, and give compensation to the family; except if they remit it. If he was from a people who are enemies to you, and he was a believer, then you shall set free a believing slave. And if he was from a people between whom you had a covenant, then a compensation to his family, and set free a believing slave.Whoever does not find, then the fasting of two months sequentially as a repentance from God; God is Knowledgeable, Wise.

5:89. God will not hold you for your unintentional oaths, but He will hold you for what oaths you have made binding; its cancellation shall be the feeding of ten poor from the average of what you feed your family, or that you clothe them, or that you free a slave; whoever cannot find shall fast for three days; this is a cancellation for making your oaths when you swear. And be careful from making oaths. It is such that God clarifies for you His revelations that you may be thankful.

33:35. Surely, the submitting men, and the submitting women, the believing men, and the believing women, the obedient men, and the obedient women, the truthful men, and the truthful women, the patient men, and the patient women, the humble men, and the humble women, the charitable men, and the charitable women, the fasting men, and the fasting women, the men who keep covered their private parts, and the women who similarly keep covered, and the men who commemorate God frequently, and the commemorating women; God has prepared for them a forgiveness and a great recompense.

58:4. If he cannot find any, then he shall fast two consecutive months before any sexual contact between them. If he cannot, then he shall feed sixty poor people. That is so you would believe in God and His messenger. And these are the limits set by God. The disbelievers have incurred a painful retribution.

Can you find the command not to eat and drink during the day here? I can not.

So is fasting rather to withdraw to your sanctuary or temple for two days, not to idle talk, but to pray, read the Quran and draw close to Allah? I leave this to you my dear reader to answer, but make sure when seeking guidance you use the only fully detailed book on these matters, namely the Holy Quran

Why Do Muslims Lose?

2008-10-13T09:55:00.006+02:00

Salamun alaikum friends,

Some have commented to me saying that Muslims do not lose due to the fact that many westerners convert to Islam. Their argument seems to be a bit off. The reason westerners convert to Islam is that they read the Quran, and despite of how the Muslims manage their countries, the westerners still are led to Islam by Allah.

This is not due to work by the Muslims themselves in general.

Look at the so called Muslim countries; full of corruption, tax evasion, prostitution, poverty, illiteracy, pollution, and any vice you may care to think of. Is this a model of society, a model for others to look at and to be impressed by the love, care and intelligence their countries are governed?

Are you impressed?

I am not. Look at our beloved prophet, pbuh, he made a model country while alive in the framework of what was possible at the time. Think of what he would have done for Indonesia or any Muslim country today. If you think the society of Taliban is the peak of achievement then I have to disagree. I also believe the reason they lost were because it was not according to Allah’s Deen. A society TRULY governed by Allah’s Deen is invincible. To say that Taliban lost due to the need to experience hardship according to Allah’s plan is to confuse what happen to individuals and countries. The countries that are governed in a just manner will be blessed. Allah love justice. An individual may suffer hardship due to Allah’s plan with that person and who he interact with. This is very different to what happen to a country.

We seem so proud to be a Muslim, I see very little to be proud of, BUT we born as Muslims should be VERY humble and grateful that we were born in a Muslim family. I am very sure that many of us would not seek the knowledge and have such an open heart that Allah would lead us to Islam if we were born in an infidel family.

My article was about why we Muslim loose, why our societies are not the kind other societies look at for inspiration. We are Muslims in name and in ritual observances, but we do not live and organize ourselves according to Allah’s Deen found solely in the Holy Quran.

So let us all try to be proud of what we can achieve as Muslims, to live according to the examples given in the Quran. I am sure that if enough of us do that in ANY country a change will come.

Islam of Today

2008-10-09T22:17:00.002+02:00

The Islam of today is not the Islam of Muhammad, Abraham, Moses or Jesus. Allah forbids idol worship, whilst today’s Moslem promotes it. Allah warns mankind against preachers/imams/religious scholars in the Quran, but today’s Moslem ignore this. There are no holy places in the Quran, or houses of worship. You can communicate with Allah anywhere, anytime and in any direction.Today’s Moslem wasting time and money building mosque and spending their time in it.

Islamic preachers dare not debate openly on Islam as it is full of hypocrisy. Allah calls mankind not to submit themselves to religion, but to serve Allah by doing good deeds, be righteous, virtuous and to distance themselves from evil deeds. It is a simple set of instructions which only those truly guided can understand.

Only those who follow the Quran and research the meaning of the words can see the evil that permeates through these institutions.

In Your Mind

2008-09-26T19:45:00.003+02:00

Salamun alaikum my friends,

What is in your mind?

It seems that we Muslims often take a very passive approach to what happen to us in our daily life. Many Muslims seems to be under the impression that as long as we do our duty to Allah things will be OK. That life is preordained and frankly there is little we can do to change the outcome of any event.

Is this so I ask?

Like when a person want to quit smoking or stop any other vice, if he constantly think of not doing it, that person fills his mind with the object he is trying to avoid, so in reality he brings that object to himself. There are many cases of this and I am sure you can see some of it in your own life also.

A person were asked to join an anti war group, but refused and replied that a pro peace group he would gladly join. So will a mindset of positive person change the outcome of events?

We all have met very pessimistic people that argue from their point of view and by listening to them they seem right, bad things pile up on these people. And on meeting very optimistic people, although their physical situation may differ little, seem to be more fully alive and be in a state of gratitude to Allah for their situation.

Both types may call themselves Muslim, but the difference is obvious. The one has lost hope and the other is full of gratitude and faith.

Quran 2:284 “To God is what is in the heavens and in Earth, and if you declare what is in your souls or hide it, God will call you to account for it. He will forgive whom He wishes, and punish whom He wishes, and God is capable of all things.”

Both the pessimist and the optimist may say they believe in Allah and His deen Islam, but I would say only one of them manifest faith. So what is faith and can it be achieved through personal effort?

Yes I will say, faith grow by surrender to Allah and looking at anything in our life as an opportunity to learn and grow as a person and in faith.

To truly believe is to believe as if we have achieved anything that we pray for, to live in the state of mind of knowing it will truly come into our life.

Quran 5:7 “Recall God's blessings over you and His covenant that He has bound you with, for which you have said, "We hear and obey," and be aware of God; for God knows what is inside the chests.”

You may argue that how long to wait for the things you pray for, or maybe some of them will never come into your life? Does it really matter?

New things come, and being aware of the opportunities Allah presents may lead our lives to even better states. So a positive attitude that can grasp opportunity and a faith that can hold it together for a period of time seems to be called for.

“Love, Faith, Action, Knowledge” are words to think about when it comes to try to reprogram the way you think about life and yourself.

Muslim means submission, to submit to Allah, in; “Love, Faith, Action, and Knowledge”.

Allah truly knows best.

Love of Islam

2008-09-19T10:45:00.001+02:00

There is so much talk about love of Islam and to defend Islam among those that call themselves Muslims, also to fill our mind with Islam. But do you all know what this really means? To me this sound likes relating to Islam as one of the worlds religions.

Allah has made this really very simple and it needs not many words, I will try my best to list the concepts according to importance (and my limited understanding):

Allah is God, the only one, our creator, our judge and forgiver.
Islam is the guidelines Allah gave us to live by according to His will.
These guidelines are called Allah’s Deen. Allah’s Deen is not any religion with many rituals (only magic has rituals).
Allah’s Deen is FULLY described in the Holy Quran.
A person that lives according to the Holy Quran may call himself a Muslim.
ONLY the things described in the Quran must be lived by, living by any other source is shirk (ie. taking other sources as guidance than the Holy Quran). Allah say repeatedly in the Holy Quran that IT is FULLY DETAILED.

So who to love and cherish?

Only ONE, Allah the merciful one. He is the One to fill our heart and our mind and to keep in our thoughts at all times.

As for behavior, Allah tells us in this the Holy Quran:

To submit to Him, Allah, the only God.
To be grateful to Allah for our life.
To educate ourselves, to be industrious, to seek knowledge from everywhere.
To live and dress modest.
To share our wealth.
To say the truth and not talk bad about people.
To protect the weak, care for our parents and don’t accept injustice.
To protect and care for the environment and all living things.
To do good deeds.
To invite people to Allah and Islam.

So to those that find most of their guidance among the “so-called Deen” of Islam, the Hadith, I can only repeat what Allah say in the Quran:

The Quran reports that the messenger himself will complain to God about his so called followers abandoning the Quran:

"And the messenger says, "O my Lord, my OWN people have forsaken the Quran." (Quran 25:30)

According to the Quran, division into sects is the work of evil, and is the result of following man made ideas like the Hadith (Quran 23:52-56 and 6:159). Division into sects can never be a mercy as claimed by some schools of thought.

The Quran claims to be the best Hadith (Ahsan ul hadeeth 39:23), and states that after Allah and his ayat (verses) no other Hadith is to be followed (Quran 45:6). The Quran also states that people have fabricated Hadith to mislead from the way of Allah (Quran 31:6 Lahwal Hadith).

The Quran challenges people to produce a "Hadith" like the Quran (Quran 52:34) if they are truthful. The difference in language, style and content between the Quran and the other "Hadith" has been evident and is not denied even by those who believe in the Hadith as being genuine.

"These are the verses of Allah (God) which we rehearse to you with truth. Then in what Hadith will they believe after Allah and His verses? (Quran 45:6)."

The Quran's Verdict:

"And the messenger says, "O my Lord, my OWN people have forsaken the Quran." (Quran 25:30)

So dear friends, if you want to call yourself a Muslim you have no choice but to follow the Holy Quran and only this (and please research the meaning of the words, not all translations are true). To those offended by this statement, I can only say this; Read Allah’s word in the Quran, it should guide you to a true understanding. If it does not, it is because your heart is hardened and Allah has described these people also.

Allah truly knows best.

Culture Mixed with Religion

2008-08-23T22:50:00.004+02:00

Salamun alaikum

Culture as such is the way we as a group of people do things, our parties, celebrations and events. This can be good or it can be bad, sometimes in line with our Holy Quran and sometimes not. What is dangerous is when we mix culture and our Deen.

Allah have given us the Holy Quran as guidance for our spiritual and mundane life, He has clearly stated in the Quran that It is fully detailed and that anything we need to achieve a life as Allah want us to live is found there.

So if you add all kind of practices to the simple way of life outlined in the Quran, you are doing shirk, plain and simple. This is because you add to Allahs Deen. So all practices in connection to our Deen MUST be found in the Holy Quran, if not it has NOTHING to do with our Deen.

You may argue that how shall we perform all our Muslim practices and rituals that we do as Muslims if they are not found in the Quran? The answer is very simple, we do not do them!

The above statement will freak out the majority of todays Muslims. Why?? Because their RELIGION has endless practices not found in the Quran. So where do they find the basis for all these practices? They find them in the practices of their family, tribe or religion. Many of these practices are also found in the Hadith collections.

39:23 “Allah has sent down the best narration, a Scripture that is similar with two paths. The skins of those who reverence their Lord shiver from it, then their skins and their hearts soften up to the remembrance of Allah. Such is Allah’s guidance; He guides with it whoever He wills. And for whomever Allah misguides, then none can guide him”.

So, if you want to live as Allah wants you, please try to study the Quran. Unfortunatly so many translations are biased towards cultural input and Hadiths, so it is not easy to find a translation pure and correct. Still I hope in time more people will translate the Quran correct and also that all that call themselves Muslims will belong to the Deen of Allah, not continue being Sunni Muslims, Shiah Muslims, and any of the sects created.

Allah urges us to read, to study and verify everything for ourselves, not blindly following our parents, groups, imams and Hadith collections.

17:36 “And do not uphold what you have no knowledge of. For the hearing, eye-sight, and mind, all these you are responsible for”.

2:170 “And if they are told: “Follow what Allah has sent down, “they say: “No, we will follow what we found our fathers doing!” What if their fathers did not understand anything and were not guided?”

3:138 “This is a clarification for the people and a reminder for the righteous”.

Wassalam

Cutting my Hair, or not

2008-08-04T06:59:00.003+02:00

Salamun alaikum dear readers,

My hubby got a mail from a local imam about the sinfulness of a woman cutting her hair. He sent me the mail and here are some excerpts of it;

In general, the major classical Hanafi Fiqh books prohibit the cutting of hair for women. This is also affirmed by many Indian Subcontinent scholars. However, some scholars of the Arab world have permitted it conditionally.

In a Hadith, "the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) forbade women from shaving their hair." (Sunan Tirmidhi, 2/246 & Sunan Nasa'i, 5/407)

Imam al-Haskafi (Allah has mercy on him) mentions in his famous book in Hanafi Fiqh:

"If a woman cuts her hair, she will be sinful and cursed. In al-Bazzaziyya it is added: "Even with the permission of the husband, as there is no obedience to the creation in disobeying the Creator." (See: Radd al-Muhtar with the Durr of al-Haskafi, kitab al-hazr wal-ibaha, 5/261)

The main two reasons given by scholars for the impermissibility of women cutting their hair are:

a) Imitation of the Kuffar (non-Muslims),
b) Imitation of men,

both of which have been clearly prohibited in Shariah.

In Wikipedia it is written: The longest head of hair belonged to Xie Qiuping of China and measured 5.627 metres (18 feet 5.54 inches) on 8 May 2004.

Wow, so according to the above a woman in some cases would have to drag around up to 3-5 m long hair, what a burden, if not self chosen. If this was the case, that it is Haram for women to cut their hair, would it not be stated in the Quran?

Since Allah say in the Quran that it is fully detailed, all sinful practices are stated there. And guess what, no forbidding of cutting the women’s hair are stated.

Again we are left with two conflicting views, on one side a fully detailed Quran as God has said, and on the other side various Hadiths with dubious origin that state another view.

As we Muslims often end our discussions, Allah knows best.

Wassalam

PS. My dear hubby don’t care as long as my hair is shoulder length as he likes it like this ;- )

Win and Loosing in Games

2008-07-20T22:06:00.001+02:00

Salamun alaikum avid readers, today I will write about our family’s new toy and insights I have had.

My husband has bought a Nintendo Wii for the family and along it some games and specially Wii Fit. This article may sound as an ad in a Newspaper, but I do not have any interests as such in the company.

As a couch potato with very little interest in training, except walking and being normally active, I would never believe that I would do exercises nearly every day at home. But this is what has happened.

I did have misgivings when my husband brought it home (another toy, money wasted and such), but he happily plugged it in and the first evening placed himself in front of the TV and started doing all kinds of strange things. And it looked fun…..

I could not help myself, I had to register myself into the program and do it also. And here comes my first insight, I am a poor looser. The exercises are made as a competition with yourself (and in my case also with my husband, as the movements are using only yourself and your own abilities and weight, no extra weight added, so competition is fair). So if he managed to do to a certain level, I also wanted to do at least as good. I also realized I mostly could, and in some times even go past him. But when he beat me, I sulked, my mouth turned down and I became the most un-fun person around. My husband threatened to refuse to train with me, he said there is a Norwegian saying “Tap og vinn med samme sinn”, loosely translated as “Loose or win with same mind”, and I should aim for that.

Did I like to realize I was a poor looser, no, definitely not! At the same time I really liked this game, this training of body, it was really addictive, I even trained sometimes in the daytime when I was alone, unbelievable.

My husband, he laughed and smiled and sometimes even did a victory dance if he beat himself or me, and when I beat him he smiled and were just as happy, no faking it. When he could not do something, he just did it again, enjoying it, and again.

Of course he was right, I had to change, and I am slowly doing it, but then he bought another game, “Big Brain Academy” where there is competitions, like both competing at same time, and as you truly understand, I failed miserably. Not that I was not as good as my husband, but when he won, I looked sour and sulked. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

Again my husband had to remind me that this is a game, for fun, for education, but NOT for becoming what I became. Did I agree with him; yes, will I change; YES.

So for two weeks now, I do have changed a little, I have to remind myself many times what this is, and my husband has not recently threatened to not play with me, so I know I am improving. So this is my own lesson for now, if you can learn something from it, well, that is why I wrote it.

And by the way, I have lost 2 kg and my husband 1,5 kg by just doing something we find to be fun (most of the time, ha ha).

Human Communication

2008-07-14T10:25:00.001+02:00

Salamun alaikum avid readers, today I will write about communication.

I have thought a lot about communication lately, and tried to understand it. I have tried to see the steps humankind have taken until now, and as I understand it they are:

Speech
Pictures
Music
Games
Writing
Books
Paintings
Photos
Films
Interactive Games
Internet
Virtual Worlds

I can not claim that these are the correct sequence or all human endeavours, but it is a start.

From the Quran we learn that Adam was given the names of things and I assume the understanding to work with concepts. We are also told to “read” in the Quran, and to me it is just wonderful that a person can spend a long time researching and writing a book, and we the readers can go through it in a short time and gain a whole new experience.

The same can be said about films; in just over an hour we can look into a completely new world and gain an insight into something that may not even exist anywhere.

I am ever grateful that I live in a time where I can read and see films on a regularly basis and I feel blessed for all the experiences I can have through these media.

When I hear people saying about a book or a film that it is not real, that it is just fantasy, I really do pity them. It seems for them that fantasy is something bad, something to be avoided!? I ask myself why, why is it that some people have this narrow look at what experience they want to enjoy?

Many of the things we take for granted these days where just fantasy at some time, and many people ridiculed those that where searching or inventing some things not yet developed.

In groups in Islam and also in groups in other religions there are those that shun fantasy and want to limit human experience to what they see as the righteous life and experience. To me they paint a grey and limited world. I could ask then, is Allah without fantasy? Looking at His glorious creation I would say He truly has a magnificent fantasy and creativity unsurpassed. Just look at the multiple appearances of animals, plants, insects and all growing things. Even us humans with all our racial traits, just look at any race how wonderful different we all look.

I know these days we have put a very narrow standard to what we consider beautiful, and some will do anything to fall into this limited standard, but if we free our self of this trained way of looking at human beauty there is endless beauty to be found.

Back to my list of communicative expression, we see that there is a wealth of possibility to communicate just about anything, for good or for bad. I for one hope and truly believe that these means will be mostly used in ways that will make this world better for us all.

Wassalam

Change

2008-07-09T14:29:00.000+02:00

Salamun alaikum avid readers, today I will write about change.

In my last musing I wrote about mood swings and feelings and that they need to be looked at and somewhat controlled. I firmly believe that to be in the sway of ones feelings is a mental state that needs to be addressed. Re-read it, to see the background for today’s writing.

So if one has a situation, where ones emotion put one in a certain mood and you express this mood loud, hateful, and crying or whiningly, are you then in a position to clearly express what change you want? Is it not a kind of blackmail to use those emotions, and if you get your way, will you not continue using those emotion? The person receiving that outburst will he or she pity you or hate you for it? Both emotions do not build a balanced partnership, do they?

Life is change. Seasons come and go, people change and grow old, interests come and go and whatever you once had will somehow change.

This frightens many people, that whatever they had changes, but they do not realise that they too change – but slowly over time.

So is change bad? If our mind did not get bored or were searching ever for new experiences we would never go forward. Looking at our friends and family we can see that some embrace change and some shun it, some even fear change, but we as Muslims should not afraid. We Muslims should fear to sin, we should fear not to behave as Allah has guided us, but we should not fear change. As we all know there are those Muslims that want to live in the past, they dress in old time’s clothes, and they do not embrace technology and so on. That is their choice and I see no problem as such, but they seem to fear society and that is wrong. Society is not to be feared; Muslims are to be strong and by example should change it for the better for all.

So what have this to do with emotions?

I try to point you to the idea that to be a participant in positive changes and that goes for any change of any situation that YOU have to be calm and to know what changes you want. That you need to express the words in a way that there can be dialogue and both sides can be heard in a calm and friendly way.

This is not an easy task, I do not for a moment pretend to be the most calm and thoughtful woman out there, especially when my husband irritate me. But my reflections on this subject are something I do work on, and I truly believe we all have to still our minds and in calmness address our grievances.

Control of our mind is to control the influences done by Satan also, so again think about the words; positive, optimist, faithful, strong, happy, giving, mental discipline and love.

Wassalam.

Mood Swings

2008-07-03T22:56:00.000+02:00

Salamun alaikum avid readers, today I will write about mood swings.

What do I mean by this? Well as we all know and especially us women (but applies to most men also), we change moods, sometimes rather unexpected and fast. A mood is usually a result of a feeling or a situation we feel “pisses us off”. Most of us are very righteous in whatever we feel, like our feelings are true and we are in our right to feel whatever we feel at any given point.

But is it true? Let us look beyond ourselves for a moment. Our mood certainly will influence those around us, that is true, but does that alleviate our own “suffering”? Sometimes it does; ie. if I feel bad then you should feel bad also.

A question that needs to be asked is; do we have the right to feel the way we feel and to express whatever we feel? Most people answer YES to this. But if we generate MORE misery around us by expressing our feelings, is it not something we should really look at and maybe in many cases CONTROL?

Is it not a sign of weakness to give in to any mood or feeling coming our way?

Think about the words; positive, optimist, faithful, strong, happy, giving, mental discipline and love.

Do those words ring a bell? Do we actually have a choice here? Do we?

Who is the master hypnotist? Who is it that wants to drag us down, to loose hope, to see every situation in the worst light? Who?

Satan of course.

Do we actually have a choice of what to feel and what mood we are to have? Most people say NO, I say YES. We do have a choice, and Allah is our guide and strength in this.

Does this mean we should blindly feel good about everything and do not change a situation that needs to be changed? NO, and I will try God willing to write about this in my next musing.

A good article can be found by this link:

http://www.free-minds.org/articles/satan/satan.htm

Wassalam.

Why do we pollute?

2008-06-28T22:00:00.003+02:00

Salamun alaikum avid readers, lately I have thought a lot about why we Muslims so easily pollute. We all know that this world belong to Allah and as such we are just visitors in His garden. But can we say that we behave as visitors in Allah’s beautiful garden? I think not.

“And God created every moving creature from water. So some of them move on their bellies, and some walk on two legs, and some walk on four. God creates whatever He wills. God is capable of all things.” (24:45)

In so called Muslim countries, mostly in Asia I see garbage everywhere and rivers full of debris and filled with untreated sewer.

"And when they are told, "Do not spoil the Earth." They said, "Truly, we're only entrepreneurs (reformers)." (2:12)

“And wrong not men of their things (or rights), and act not corruptly in the earth, making mischief.” (26: 181-183)

So being a Muslim should we not become gardeners of the earth? Should not we as Muslims, due to our belief in Allah, be people looked at as caretakers?

Sometimes we are so afraid of becoming dirty that we neglect taking part in cleaning and restoring our environment. I truly believe a person cleaning a public toilet or picking garbage will be blessed on Judgement day.

“Pollution has appeared in the land and the sea by the hands of the people for what they earned. He will make them taste some of what they have done, perhaps they will revert.” (30:41)

These days with earthquakes, strong winds and landslides, sometimes due to our own action, maybe we should reflect on the above verse and see what we can do to help?

My suggestion is that after every Friday prayer we should go out in groups and pick garbage for an hour. This I think will achieve many benefits like;

Raising our own awareness of pollution.
Make our neighborhood cleaner.
Show that we care.
Lead to bigger projects where we as Muslims partake in positive actions for our environment.
Blessings for us all.

Wassalam

Regarding Happiness

2008-06-10T11:11:00.003+02:00

Salamun alaikum dear readers

To further elaborate about happiness, some might argue that it is no sin to be rich in Islam, to that I totally agree, provided the money is earned in a good way without exploitation of people and environment and no Haram items are sold or produced.

But if you read my article again, you will see that it is about how a rich person lives and most of all use the wealth. Hoarding resources for oneself and his or her family and tribe is to me a sin. Everything is from Allah and He will judge us how we live our life and spend our resources.

And can a person truly be happy living in fear of others, that thieves will rob and government will overtax ones fortune? Maybe not?

From the example of our beloved prophet and the prophets before him, most lived in poverty or in a situation not envied by anybody. So as Muslims and believers should we not also follow their example and live without excess?

So now I ask you again; how rich do you need to be, to be happy?

Most people today live in fear, fear of disease, lack of money, not being loved, being ugly and the list goes on and on. Fear is what mostly keeps us in unhappiness, but the opposite of fear is Love.

Most people seem to think that to feel love, one need to be loved, not so. If you wait for someone to love you, you may wait for a long time, but the true object of all love being Allah (God) and loving Him and filling your heart with love and gratitude for whatever we have been granted, will make you a loving person that will attract love into your life.

So dear readers I hope we all can do good deeds and have a loving heart. This truly will change the world I truly believe.

Happiness

2008-06-01T15:05:00.002+02:00

Salamun alaikum dear readers.

Today I will muse a bit about happiness. The Media today is full of stories where Wealth equal Happiness. Is this True?

So now I ask; how rich do you need to be to be happy?

Basically one need roof over ones head, food, water and clothing. These are basic needs, and for most of the worlds population these needs are met (yes I know that there are people on the streets in America, Asia and Africa, but if they are alive these basic needs are to some extent met).

But from having ones basic needs covered, to be able to call oneself rich is a big gap. There is a program on MTV that is called Cribs that I have seen a few times, it is the rich people showing off their wealth (their house, cars and so on). And I feel disgusted seeing it, and actually I feel disgusted about any person hoarding that much. What are the possible needs for such big house, so many cars and so on?

The same can be said about physical appearance these days. When is a person good looking enough? Many people have bodies that they need to exercise 2 hours every day, they need a special diet, they need injections and operations and all these recourses are spent just to look a little better.

I am NOT speaking about people born with a defect or having had an accident that an operation will help them. No I talk about the beauty industry.

Then there is the extravaganza of the fashion industry and the luxury industry. Its ads say that your happiness depends upon having 50 (or more) pairs of shoes, brand jewelry and watches, and clothing from the well known brands.

So now I ask again; how rich do you need to be to be happy?

By now I am sure you see where I am going? And many will by now branded me as a communist or worse. Could all these recourses and people spent in the industry I have talked about, could these resources be better spent on the betterment for all? I would personally put the perverse spending in the world’s arms races into the same “box”.

Many of the worlds rich when they become old, become philanthropists, giving off a part of their wealth to some useful course. Why, I believe it is guilt, but they still dress and live the same way mostly, so the “giveaway” does not hurt them much.

The so-called “filthy rich” are also populating the poorer countries in the world. It seem the poorer the country the richer the rulers. Ironic?

For me as a Muslim and see how the rich Arabs and rulers in most the Muslim countries built their mansions and filled their homes with poor servants from Asia mostly, is a perversion. Many of the imported labor are Muslims as themselves, but are treated worse than slaves.

So now I ask again; how rich do you need to be to be happy?

I firmly believe that when you become a slave to the outward appearance there will NEVER be enough. Never. There will ALWAYS be a need for another pair of shoes, another garment, another look and another item.

There was a survey done in England and I am sure it applies to everywhere; where most said they rather go shopping than having sex. Sex should be the top of the list of an expression of happiness, intimacy and love, but it is not, shopping is.

Everybody know the sensation of getting something new, something you have wanted, but then you have it and its gloss leave it fast. It is like drugs, more beget more…

So now I ask again; how rich do you need to be to be happy?

Or is it really true that wealth begets happiness? I firmly believe not. Those people I have met that seem happy are those with a purpose in life. People with a faith in what they do, like artists, religious people and even politicians, where their work seem more important to them than themselves, they seem to be on the road to fulfillment. So therein lay the answer or at least an important observation. To find happiness you can never gain it by fulfilling your needs, the needs multiply and grow always faster than how you try to meet them. It is ALWAYS a loosing battle. But by simplifying your own needs and help fulfilling others need, you get the reward from God, a full heart.

So the secret to happiness is to have few or no needs and a life in or partly in service of others, will gain you more fulfillment and happiness. Many want a job well paid helping others and hope/think that this will do the trick, sorry in most cases it don’t, it is what you do outside work, in your “free” time that help. God rewards gifts you give, if you are paid – you are already paid.

There is abundance in this world if it is shared, let us all be instruments for God in making this a reality. I will also recommend the film; “Pay it Forward”, is one of those revolutionary ideas. I will not go into details; it will spoil the film, but do see it.

The Reading (Al-Quran)

2008-05-23T07:07:00.002+02:00

Salamun alaikum readers, my two latest musings have been about us Muslims as readers. I also gave the links to the Quranic verses where Allah has told us to read. I wrote on my last posting how many Muslims just recite and not read, but today I want to muse about reading and trying to understand the Quran.

The thing is that most Muslims read the Quran in translation, and for most of my life I thought the various translations gave an accurate translation from Arabic to whatever language one was reading it in.

Sadly this is not the case, and this is the root of our greatest problem with understanding Islam. The problem is not even obvious because if you read most translations in English, Norwegian and Indonesian (and I assume it is so in all other languages), they are all mostly translated the same. So if one word means something in one verse and something else in other verses, they all translate it the same. Why is this?

Is there something wrong with the world’s translations of the Quran? Have we been misled? This is a scary subject and for most Muslims a VERY traumatic thought that the Quran they read may be misleading them on some issues! Wow. “I don’t believe it” is their general reply (with “their” I refer to nearly all Muslims, my former self included).

How can I say this, me, just a silly housewife with no greater study of the Quran. Me, a woman that can not read and understand Arabic. Some Muslims say that I don’t know what I talk about and that I should listen to the Ulama and the proper scholars of Islam, they will tell me what the correct interpretation of all Quranic verses is.

So how did I end up with the minority view?

It started for me well over a year ago, until then I was what you could call a traditional Muslim. I followed the Islam of my father and the family I grew up in. But to my great blessing I married a man that have become Muslim late in life, he has always loved and sought God, and when all religions were looked at, he came to Islam. He told me that Allah has given him a gift that as long as he truly look at something from all sides, in the end Allah shows him what is true. This gift was bestowed on him after he left the belief in re-incarnation and saw what this was. This does NOT mean he knows all truth, it only means that when he looks at something from all sides and truly studies it deeply, a guidance is given. Or so he says, and I believe him.

So my husband being who he is continued to read after becoming a Muslim. He went to the missionary school library and read most books on Islam, from its friends and foes. He read from all the various sects and law schools and groups in Islam. He read from their own point of view, and from that of their opponents. He of course also read a lot on the internet.

He also translated some books from English to Norwegian, the first being “Jesus a Prophet of Islam”. He did that so his fellow Norwegians could read in their own language something that could educate them of their Christian beliefs and show some of what Islam was about.

This led him to various new ways to look at things and he realized that as the Christians had corrupted the message of Jesus, so had the Hadith writers corrupted the true message of the Quran.

So what is this all about you may ask? A little you may have seen from my article on Hijab, and how deep this corruption goes you need to find out for yourself. For me this dialogue with my husband and my own study have lead me to not put two lines under ANY answer, to question anything and to READ.

I don’t ask you to “believe” in anything you read from the links below, and I certainly hold judgment on many of the issues presented there. So do my husband, he also continues to read and we both fell strengthened in our faith in Allah.

http://www.free-minds.org

http://aididsafar.com/index.html

http://harisi.wordpress.com/2008/04/05/the-foresaken-quran/

Wassalam.

Reciting is not Reading

2008-05-16T20:43:00.001+02:00

Salamun alaikum dear readers, in my last posting I wrote about us Muslims not reading, but many Muslims will argue that they do read, they do read the Quran on a daily basis. This is a difficult one, what constitute “reading”? Yes it is true that many look in a book and say words that appear on the pages. So from someone looking at that person to any outward appearance the person is “reading”. But truly, is this “reading”?

Many Muslims “read” from Arabic version of the Quran without having any knowledge of the Arabic language, they “read” the words but they don’t know the meaning of them. Many Muslims have even memorized the whole Quran on this basis, a great effort but does it generate knowledge? But, truly this is NOT reading, this is called reciting.

I know many Muslims are under the impression that reciting the Quran in the Arabic language (even without understanding a word) generates many rewards from Allah. But Allah calls us to READ?

So what is “reading”? Wikipedia, the internet encyclopedia says this about reading;

Reading is the cognitive process of deriving meaning from written or printed text. It is a means of language acquisition, of communication, and of sharing information and ideas. Effective readers use decoding skills (to translate printed text into the sounds of language), use morpheme, semantics, syntax and context cues to identify the meaning of unknown words, activate prior knowledge (schemata theory), use comprehension, and demonstrate fluency during reading.

Based on this, does it constitute “reading” what most Muslims do when they read the Quran? I think not.

Again, Allah tells us; READ. So let us do so because wider and greater understanding lead to correct action and I am sure this again leads to a world more in line with Allah’s commandments. The verse below truly encourages us to understand, verify everything and be seeking knowledge. We truly are held responsible by Allah for that.

17:36 “Do not uphold what you have no knowledge of. For the hearing, eyesight, and mind, all these are held responsible for that”.

Wassalam and peace avid readers.

Why don't Muslims Read?

2008-05-10T23:05:00.005+02:00

Salamun alaikum dear readers, lately I have thought a lot about why we Muslims don’t read. Coming from Indonesia to Norway I see a huge difference in reading habits. In most Norwegian homes they have huge shelves with books, in Indonesia if they have shelves; there are hardly any books, just decorations. Why is that?

Most Indonesians are Muslims and Allah says in the Quran many times “READ”, below is perhaps the most known verse.

96:1 Read in the name of your Lord who has created.
96:2 He created the human being from an embryo.
96:3 Read, and your Lord is the Generous One.
96:4 The One who taught by the pen.
96:5 He taught the human being what he did not know.

At the end of this musing I have pasted references to more Quranic verses where Allah asks us to read.

When I look at the so-called Muslim countries I see an ocean of illiteracies and non-readers. In many of those countries we have a big portion of the populace that is illiterate, but the governments are full of Muslims. It should be the duty of a government to educate the populace, but it seems to me that the government in those countries is quite happy keeping them ignorant.

In the Western world (for all their faults) at least they put a large effort into teaching everybody to read and have a minimum of education. Is this one of the major reasons why the Muslim countries are so backward? Is it because they do not READ?

Many Muslims will argue that they do read, they do read the Quran daily. I will answer this in a separate musing because it is not true, they recite and do not read (but more on this in another day).

Another reason is of course poverty, many families can not afford books, but there are libraries free of charge to borrow books. But the funny thing is that most people have never been there, or at least never to borrow any book outside school curriculum. People never go there to READ, to study, to educate themselves, to learn something new. Me neither, it was first when I came here, where most people read that I started to read, in an environment of readers I started to read.

So? How to change this downward spiral of ignorance? For those of you that have seen the trilogy “The Matrix”, one of the characters say in this film; “Ignorance is Bliss”. No, no, no. Ignorance leads to every bad thing in this world.

Any bad thing you can think of is done by ignorance, or not knowing the consequences of ones actions.

Again and again, Allah tells us; READ. So let us do so because understanding lead to correct action and I am sure this again leads to a world more in line with Allahs commandments.

Below are some references to Quranic verses you could read, and think about their implications. Again, Allah asks us to read, to study and to develop our knowledge on all important issues. This is not about faith; it is about knowledge to better our situation and that of our fellow man.

Do not accept information on faith; critically evaluate it with your reason and senses (17:36)
Ask the experts if you do not know (16:43)
Use intelligence, reason and historical precedents to understand and carry out God’s commands (7:179; 8:22; 10:100; 12:111; 3:137)
Do not dogmatically follow the status-quo and tradition; be open to new ideas (22:1; 26:5; 38:7)
Be open-minded and promote freedom of expression; listen to all views and follow the best (39:18)
Do not follow conjecture (10:36,66; 53:28)
Study God’s creation in the heavens and land; explore the beginning of creation (2:164; 3:190; 29:20)
Attain knowledge, since it is the most valuable thing in your appreciation of God (3:18; 13:13; 29:43,49)
Be a free person, do not follow crowds, and do not afraid of crowds (2:112; 5:54,69; 0:62; 39:36; 46:13)
Do not follow blindly the religion of your parents or your nation (6:116; 12:103,112)
Do not make profit from sharing God’s Message with others (6:90; 36:21; 26:109- 180)
Read in order to know, and read critically (96:1-5; 55:1-4)
Do not ignore divine revelation and signs (25:73)
Do not miss the main point by indulging in small and inconsequential details (2:67- 71; 5:101-102; 22:67)
Hold your judgment if you do not have sufficient information; do not rush into taking a position (20:114)

Wassalam and peace avid readers.

Family Name

2008-05-09T07:07:00.003+02:00

According to Muallif in Islam children especially women should use the name of their father and not their husband. I don't agree with that.

In my family we belong to a tribe with no family name, so we all have different second names. And my family have been Muslims for hundreds years. Different cultures have different approach to “family name”. In Iceland for example it is common for the woman to use “daughter of (Margitdottir)” and the son “son of (Olafson)” as family name, similar in Arabic. In the western world one use the family name of the father and the newly wed wife take the same as the husband. This way it signifies that she, the children and husband have the same name, showing they belong to one family.

So is this un-Islamic? In the Quran only one verse (please correct me if I'm wrong) talked about family name, namely Surah 33:5, but this verse talk about adopted children, signifying that they should keep their fathers name and not the name of the man who adopt them. To me this is so that people should know their blood-line, and not become confused to who were their father and mother was.

Is it then a sin for a woman to take her husband family name so she and her children have the same family name? I don’t think so, and the verse in the Quran to me signifies support for this belief. Why? Because the verse is about knowing your blood – your bloodline – your family.

For those that see it differently, well this is your belief. Allah knows best.

I'm Blocked

2008-04-08T14:23:00.003+02:00

Just want to share my story as a member of Cimbuak, a Minangkabau community portal. I recently posted two articles about hadith and messenger that I took from this book and apparently some people don’t like it and feel threaten by it only because they disagree with the contains of the articles. They protested and asked the website admin to unpublish my articles and probably will not publish any article posted by me. I find it very sad and hurtful that it has come to this. I felt very happy finding friends from all over the world from my hometown area and although not all behaved in a polite way, I found many to discuss with and chat with.

In the last two years I have been studying the Quran and my faith Islam more deeply, and have truly followed Allah’s commandment “READ”. I have read from various points of view and I admit I have largely come to question the body of Hadiths. There are just so many “strong/approved” ones that are either in conflict with the Quran or in conflict with science. Imam Bukhari also only approved about 7.397 out of the 600.000 that he knew. And among the 7.397 he approved about half are duplicates. I have tried to raise awareness about it and invited to research and discussion, but mostly I have been met with abuse and/or ridicule. Remember we are Muslims, we submit to Allah, our faith is Islam. Whoever calls themselves Sunnimuslim (Maliki-muslim, Shafi'i-muslim, Hanafi-muslim, or Hanbali-muslim), Shiamuslim, and countless others belong to a sect. Most Muslims are not even aware of this, but most Muslims are largely ignorant about their faith anyway sadly enough.

Then it comes to Shariah or law, most of this is taken from the Old Testament in the Bible, if you don’t believe it, feel free to check it out yourself.

There are so many things we could have discussed and looked into; it is our most sacred duty as Muslims to verify everything for our self.

For those who protested you have two choices; you can choose to buy the book and read it and think, or dismiss it without a second thought and stick to what you've been forcefed as Islam through the so called clerics/leaders that rule the roost, and have done so for the longest time. I wish you all a safe journey through life and may Allah open our minds and hearts to His truth. May our understanding and practice be as He intended for us all. As Allah has told us in the Holy Quran; this book is fully detailed for those with intellect. So let us pray for His guidance.

I have tried to write some points that are worth considering in the Quran:

Allah tells us that ALL we need to know is in the Quran, it is fully detailed.
The Quran is the best Hadith.
Allah warns us against tradition and the majority.
Allah also warns us against the Arabs and their tendencies.
Allah uses the same word in many verses so we may have a fuller understanding of it. The Arabs translate the same word one way in one verse and another way in another verse to suit their twisted logic.
Allah tells us to take care of each other, the environment and be productive.
Allah tells us to reflect, ponder and seek knowledge as well as develop science.

So I have tried in my own limited way to follow what Allah has told us all.

May Allah bless us in this world and hereafter.

Gemblong

2008-03-12T18:58:00.006+01:00

Dapat resep ini dari Riry (thanks a lot), dan minggu lalu aku coba bikin. Bahan utamanya tepung ketan dan kelapa parut. Disini gak ada kelapa parut tapi ada kelapa parut kering yang biasa dipakai untukk bikin kue. Jadi kelapa parutnya aku rendam air hangat beberapa menit. Bikinnya gampang banget dan rasanya sama lo ama Gemblong yang sering aku beli di Bandung walaupun bentuknya gak sama :) My hubby doyan banget, langsung abis 4 potong. Dia bilang, “this is like an addiction. I can’t stop eating them, haha”.

Buat yang pengen bikin juga, ini resepnya:

Bahan :

125 gr tepung ketan
75 gr kelapa parut
1/4 sdt garam
75 ml santan hangat
65 gr gula pasir
50 gr gula merah, sisir halus
85 ml air

Cara membuat :

1. Masukkan tepung ketan, kelapa parut dan garam menjadi satu.

2. Tambahkan santan, dan uleni hingga kalis.

3. Ambil adonan, bentuk lonjong, dan pipihkan.

4. Goreng dalam minyak hangat hingga kuning kecoklatan.

5. Untuk lapisan gula merah : campur gula pasir, gula merah dan air, lalu masak dan diaduk hingga berambut.

6. Terakhir, masukkan gemblong ke dalam larutan gula, diaduk hingga kering dan merata.

Dan ini photo hasilnya. Kurang merah karena gula merahnya kurang. Kupikir masih banyak stok, eh pas mau bikin ternyata cuma ada sepotong. Itu pun produksi Thailand, warnanya coklat muda banget. Kalau gula merah Indo kan warnanya coklat banget, hampir2 hitam malah.

Well, buat yang mau bikin, selamat mencoba ya.

New Dress

2008-01-21T07:07:00.001+01:00

There are sales everywhere in most shops in the city center now. So I bought these nice dresses for my kids and they loooveee it. Actually I looked for a party dress for myself but as usual I ended up buying some clothes for my kids :)

Hijab

2007-12-19T19:11:00.002+01:00

After reading the article below and studying it carefully for many months, also have read about the same topic from many sources, I have come to the conclution and decided not to wear hijab anymore. However I'm not against women wearing hijab but I understand it as a personal choice and not an obligation toward Allah.

Please read it with an open mind and tell me what you think.

THREE RULES FOR WOMEN DRESS CODE IN ISLAM

THE BEST GARMENT, FIRST RULE:

[7:26] "O children of Adam, we have provided you with garments to cover your bodies, as well as for luxury. But the best garment is the garment of righteousness. These are some of GOD's signs, that they may take heed."

This is the BASIC rule of DRESS CODE in the Quran. This is the first rule in WOMEN DRESS CODE in Islam (Submission).

SECOND RULE, COVER YOUR BOSOMS:

The second rule can be found in 24:31. Here God orders the women to cover their bosoms whenever they dress up. But before quoting 24:31 let us review some crucial words that are always mentioned with this topic, namely "Hijab" and "Khimar"

THE WORD "HIJAB" in the QURAN

"Hijab" is the term used by many Muslims women to describe their head cover that may or may not include covering their face except their eyes, and sometimes covering also one eye. The Arabic word "Hijab" can be translated into veil or yashmak. Other meanings for the word "Hijab" include, screen, cover(ing), mantle, curtain, drapes, partition, division, divider.

Can we find the word "Hijab" in the Quran??

The word "Hijab" appeared in the Quran 7 times, five of them as "Hijab" and two times as "Hijaban," these are 7:46, 33:53, 38:32, 41:5, 42:51, 17:45 & 19:17.

None of these "Hijab" words are used in the Quran in reference to what the traditional Muslims call today (Hijab) as a dress code for the Muslim woman. God knows that generations after Muhammed's death the Muslims will use the word "Hijab" to invent a dress code that He never authorized. God used the word "Hijab" ahead of them just as He used the word "Hadith" ahead of them.

Hijab in the Quran has nothing to do with the Muslim Women dress code.

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND:

While many Muslims call "Hijab", an Islamic dress code, they completely ignore the fact that, Hijab as a dress code has nothing to do with Islam and nothing to do with QURAN.

In reality "Hijab" is an old Jewish tradition that infiltrated into the hadith books like many innovations that contaminated Islam through alleged Hadith and Sunna. These in reality, came from Jewish origin. Any student of the Jewish traditions or religious books will see that head cover for the Jewish woman is encouraged by the Rabbis and religious leaders. Religious Jewish women still cover their heads most of the time and specially in the synagogues, weddings, and religious festivities.

Christian women cover their heads in many religious occasions while the nuns cover their heads all the time. This religious practice of covering the head was established from traditions thousands of years before the Muslim scholars claimed the Hijab as a Muslim dress code.

The traditional Arabs, of all religions, Jews, Christians and Muslims used to wear "Hijab," not because of Islam, but because of tradition. In Saudi Arabia, up to this minute most of the men cover their head , not because of Islam but because of tradition. Thank God this tradition has not been counted as Islamic dress code yet.

North Africa is known for its Tribe (Tuareg) that have the Muslim men wearing "Hijab" instead of women. Here the tradition has the hijab in reverse. If wearing Hijab is the sign of the pious and righteous Muslim woman, Mother Teresa would have been the first woman to be counted.

In brief, hijab is a traditional dress and has nothing to do with Islam or religion. In certain areas of the world, men are the ones who wear the hijab while in others the women do.

Mixing religion with tradition is a form of idol-worship, because not knowing (or not trying to find out) what God asked you to do in His book, the Quran, is a sign of disregarding God and His message. When tradition supersedes God's commandment, the true religion takes a second place. God never accepts to be second, God has to be always the FIRST and to HIM there is no second.

THE WORD "KHIMAR" in the QURAN:

"Khimar" is an Arabic word that can be found in the Quran in 24:31 While the first basic rule of Dress Code for the Muslim Women can be found in 7:26, the second rule of the DRESS CODE FOR WOMEN can be found in 24:31. Some Muslims quote verse 31 of sura 24 as containing the Hijab, or head cover, by pointing to the word, khomoorehenna, (from Khimar), forgetting that God already used the word Hijab, several times in the Quran.

Those blessed by God can see that the use of the word "Khimar" in this verse is not for "Hijab" or for head cover. Those who quote this verse usually add (Head cover) (veil) after the word Khomoorehenna, and usually between ( ), because it is their addition to the verse not God's.

Here it is 24:31;

"And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, (with their Khimar) and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed." 24:31

Here is Yousuf Ali's translation, but the word KHIMAR was put back in place instead of (veils), so the verse would look as it should have been before adding Ali's own interpretation:

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments ... that they should draw their KHIMAR over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands.." Y. Ali's translation, with the word khimar put back in place.

"Khimar" is an Arabic word that means, cover, any cover, a curtain is a Khimar, a dress is a Khimar, a table cloth that covers the top of a table is a Khimar, a blanket can be used as a Khimar..etc. The word KHAMRA used for intoxicant in Arabic has the same root with Khimar, because both covers, the Khimar covers (a window, a body, a table . etc.) while KHAMRA covers the state of mind. Most of the translators, obviously influenced by Hadith (fabrications) translate the word as VEIL and thus mislead most people to believe that this verse is advocating the covering of the head.

In 24:31 God is asking the women to use their cover (khimar)( being a dress, a coat, a shawl, a shirt, a blouse, a tie, a scarf . . . etc.) to cover their bosoms, not their heads or their hairs. If God so willed to order the women to cover their heads or their hair, nothing would have prevented Him from doing so. GOD does not run out of words. GOD does not forget. God did not order the women to cover their heads or their hair. He was not waiting for a Scholar to put the words for Him.

The Arabic word for CHEST, GAYB is in the verse (24:31), but the Arabic words for HEAD, (RAAS) or HAIR, (SHAAR) are NOT in the verse. The commandment in the verse is clear - COVER YOUR CHEST OR BOSOMS, but also the fabrication of the scholars and most of the translators is clear by claiming- cover your head or hair.

The last part of the verse (24:31) translates as, "They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies." The details of the body can be revealed or not revealed by the dress you wear, not by your head cover.

Notice also the expression in 24:31, "They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary." This expression may sound vague to many because they have not understood the mercy of God. Again God here used this very general term to give us the freedom to decide according to our own circumstances the definition of "Which is necessary". It is not up to a scholar or to any particular person to define this term. God wants to leave it personal for every woman and no one can take it away from her.

Women who follow the basic rule number one i.e. righteousness, will have no problem making the right decision to reveal only which is necessary. The word "zeenatahunna" in this verse refers to the woman's body parts (beauty) and not to ornaments and decorations as some people interpret it or translate it.

At the end of the verse, God told the women not to strike with their feet to show their "zeenatahunna". You do not need to strike your feet to show your ornaments but the way you strike your feet while walking can expose or shake certain parts of the body that do not need to be emphasized.

Accepting orders from anybody but God, means idol-worship. That is how serious the matter of Hijab/ khimar is. Women who wear Hijab because of tradition or because they like it for personal reasons commit no sin, as long as they know that it is not part of this perfect religion. Those who are wearing it because they think God ordered it are committing Idol-worship, as God did not order it, the scholars did. These women have found for themselves another god than the One who revealed the Quran, complete, perfect and FULLY detailed to tell them they have to cover their heads to be Muslims.

Idol-worship is the only unforgivable sin, if maintained till death, 4:48.

THIRD RULE OF DRESS CODE FOR WOMEN:

The first regulation of DRESS CODE for Muslim women is in 7:26, the second is in 24:31 and the third is in 33:59.

"O prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the wives of the believers that they shall LENGTHEN their garments. Thus, they will be recognized and avoid being insulted. God is Forgiver, Most Merciful." 33:59

In 33:59, God sets the other regulation for the dress code for the Muslim women during the prophet's life. Although the verse is talking to the prophet which means this regulation applies to the time of the prophet, just like the order in 49:2, the description fits the spirit of Islam, and can teach us a great deal.

If you reflect on this verse and how God ordered the prophet to tell his wives, his daughters and the wives of the believers to lengthen their garments, you would understand the great wisdom of the MOST WISE, the MOST MERCIFUL. In this verse, God, DELIBERATELY, (and all the TRUE believers know that everything GOD says, does, or did is DELIBERATE) said, tell them, to lengthen their garments, and never said how long is long.

God could have said tell them to lengthen their garments to their ankles or to their mid-calf or to their knees, but HE DID NOT. He did not, OUT OF HIS MERCY, not because HE FORGOT as God does not forget. God knows that we will be living in different communities and have different cultures and insists that the minor details of this dress code will be left for the people of every community to hammer for themselves.

It is clear from the above verses that the DRESS CODE for the Muslim women (Submitters) according to the Quran is righteousness and modesty. God knows that this modesty will be understood differently in different communities and that is why He left it open to us to decide for ourselves.

Decide, after righteousness what is modesty. Modesty for a woman who lives in New York may not be accepted by a woman who lives in Cairo Egypt. Modesty of a woman who lives in Cairo, Egypt may not be accepted by a woman who lives in Saudi Arabia. Modesty of a woman who lives in Jidda in Saudi Arabia may not be accepted by a woman who lives in a desert oasis in the same country.

This difference in the way we perceive modesty is well known to God, he created us, and He put NO hardship on us in this great religion. He left it to us to decide what modesty would be. For any person, knowledgeable or not to draw a line and make conclusion for God about the definition of modesty is to admit that he/she knows better than God. God left it open for us and no-one has the authority to restrict it, it has to stay open.

RELAXING THE DRESS CODE:

In the family setting, God put no hardship on the women, and permitted them to relax their dress code. If you reflect on the verses, 33:35 and 24:60, you will see that God did not give details of what this relaxation is, because every situation is different. A woman may relax her dress code in front of the four-year-old son of her brother but not as much in front of the 16 year old son.

[33:55] "The women may relax (their dress code) around their fathers, their sons, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, the other women, and their (female) servants. They shall reverence GOD. GOD witnesses all things."

[24:60] "The elderly women who do not expect to get married commit nothing wrong by relaxing their dress code, provided they do not reveal too much of their bodies. To maintain modesty is better for them. GOD is Hearer, Knower."

DRESS CODE FOR THE MOSQUES (MASJIDS):

[7:31] "O children of Adam, you shall be clean and dress nicely when you go to the masjid. And eat and drink moderately; Surely, He does not love the gluttons."

HARDSHIP IN THIS RELIGION:

God, the MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL decided that those who will reject His complete book and go look for other sources for guidance will suffer in this life and in the HEREAFTER by their choice. God never put any hardship on the believers, but the scholars did, they invented their own laws in defiance of God, to regulate everything from the side of bed you sleep on, to which foot should step in the house, to what to do with a fly in your soup, to what to say when having intercourse with your spouse.

Those who believe God and believe that His book is COMPLETE, PERFECT AND FULLY DETAILED, will have everything easy for them as God promised, See 10:62-64, 16:97 while those who could not believe God and have been seeking other sources than the Quran will have all the hardship of this life and the life to come. In the Hereafter they will complain to God, "we were not idol-worshipers," but God knows best, He knows they were See 6:22-24 "On the day when we summon them all, we will ask the idol worshipers, "Where are the idols you set up?" Their disastrous response will be, "By GOD our Lord, we never were idol worshipers." Note how they lied to themselves, and how the idols they had invented have abandoned them." 6:22-24

CONCLUSION:

God, the Most Merciful, gave us three basic rules for the Dress Code for Women in Islam (Submission),

(1) The BEST garment is the garment of righteousness.
(2) Whenever you dress, cover your chest (bosoms).
(3) Lengthen your garment.

While these three BASIC rules may not sound enough for those who do not trust God, the TRUE believers know that God is ENOUGH. God could have given us more details to the point of having graphs, designs and color rules, but He , the Most Merciful, wants to give us exactly these very basic rules and leave the rest for us. After these three basic rules every woman is more aware of her circumstances and can adjust her dress for her situation. Any addition to these basic Quranic rules is an attempt to correct God or improve on His merciful design.

We have no obligation to follow but God's rules. Innovations and fabrications that added thousands of rules to the women dress code are nothing but idol-worship and should be refused.

STAY WITH GOD, that is where the winners go.

May God bless us with His mercy and guidance.

Source: www.free-minds.org

Indonesian version here.

Forgive Me When I Whine

2007-11-06T07:34:00.000+01:00

Today, upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair,
And in my heart I wished that I was just as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy; met a boy who had such charm.
We talked, he seemed so happy, if I were lead him to do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, "Thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes to see the world and the world is mine.

Later that day on my way, I saw a boy with eyes of blue.
He watched the other children play; he did not know what to do.
I stopped to watch him, then I said, "Why don't you join the others, dear?"
He kept on looking straight ahead and then I knew he could not hear
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and the world is mine.

With legs to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh the world is mine

I stopped for a moment, just look how much I have
Everywhere, in all our lives, these are His signs

Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and the world is mine.

~ Zain Bhikka ~

Eid Mubarak

2007-10-22T12:47:00.000+02:00

Idul Fitri (that is how Indonesian people call it) is a Muslim holiday that marks the end of Ramadhan, the month of fasting. Eid is an Arabic word meaning “festivity”, while Fitr means “to break the fast” (and can also mean “nature”, from the word “fitrah”) and so symbolozes the breaking of the fasting period.

~ Wikipedia ~

Idul Fitri is a joyous occasion with important religious significance, celebrating the achievement of enhanced piety. It is a day of forgiveness, moral victory, peace of congregation, fellowship, brotherhood and unity. Muslims celebrate not only the end of all that fasting but also thank God for the help and strength that they believe He gave them through the previous month to help everyone practice self-control. It is a time of giving and sharing, and many Muslims dress in holiday attire.

On 13th October we celebrated Idul Fitri here in Stavanger (I wish I celebrated it with my family in Indonesia). We woke up, ate a little, symbolizing the end of Ramadhan, then my hubby went to attend the special congregational prayer together with other Muslims in Storhaug Hallen. It was about a thousand people attended this special prayer. There are quite many Muslims here and mostly they are from Africa, South East Asia and Middle East.

I didn’t make any special food for this day but some of my friends invited me to their house and guess what, they made foods that I used to eat everytime I celebrated Idul Fitri in my home country. I was so happy. So, eventhough I was not with my family at least I can eat the same foods :)

~ Happy Eid Mubarak, Minal Aidhin wal Faidzin ~

Life is a Gift

2007-09-05T19:56:00.000+02:00

I got a very nice story from a friend of mine that I'd like to share it with you all.

~~~~~###~~~~~

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.

She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive -
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

Back to School

2007-07-24T09:46:00.000+02:00

Bella started going to kindergarden again yesterday after three weeks holiday. She was so exciting unfortunately many children are still in their holiday. Only four children attended the class yesterday and today is even worse, only two including her. Luckily her favorite teacher, Ole Petter, is there, so she’s not too sad. She really likes him and he also cares for her. He always says that Bella is his best friend :). Actually he’s not her teacher anymore coz he has been rotated to another class but he sometimes comes over to visit her. And I do appreciate it. Isn’t he a good teacher?

White-dude Singing West Sumatran Song

2007-07-17T21:21:00.000+02:00

Although I spent most of my life in Bandung and Jakarta, originally I'm from West Sumatra. The people from West Sumatra is called urang minang. Of course as a urang minang, I like to hear our traditional songs. This video is very special to me because the song was sung by an Australian who learnt this song while travelling in the Minangkabau region of West Sumatra.

Birthday Girl

2007-07-03T21:41:00.000+02:00

Brenda had her second birthday on 24th June. I made a little party to celebrate her birthday and invited only my parents-in-law and few neighbours. Her height is 85 cm now. How fast time flies. Feels like yesterday when I introduced her into this world. And look at her now. She looks bigger than her age and beautiful of course :) Only Allah knows how much I love her. I wish her becoming a pious girl when she grows up.

Happy birthday my dearest Brenda
I love you
And for that I am happy
And for that you are happy.

Summer Time

2007-06-12T10:02:00.001+02:00

It is summer now and the temperature in the last few days was very hot. It’s only 20 degrees but it felt like 30 degrees in Jakarta.

On the first weekend of this month we went to town to buy some souvenirs for my family in Indonesia. Oh, I forgot to tell you that my big brother is here now. He has been here since April and on 3^rd July he will going back to Indo. That’s why we brought him to this souvenir shop so he could choose what gift he would like to give for his family in Jakarta. He has married and has one sweet daughter already. They are expecting the second child now. Before went back home, we stopped to buy some strawberries and morellas at the open market in the city center.

At 11 a.m last weekend we went to the beach. Usually I always bring some food everytime we go to the beach. But this time I didn’t bring any food just milk and water because the beach is just behind our home. If Bella and Brenda feel tired and hungry we just come back and eat at home. That was my thought. But I was wrong. After playing in the water for about 10 minutes, Bella said, “Mamma, kake .. kake ..”, which means she wanted to eat cake. Luckily there is a café in the gamlehjem near the beach so I didn’t have to running home to take something to eat. I bought some waffles, bread with egg and tomato and ice creams. Bella was sooo happy to see ice cream coz she’s really a big fan of ice cream, just like her pappa :).

After lunch I went to my friend’s house to learn how to make timpan. It’s a special cake from Aceh. It made from glutinous rice flour with sarikaya for the inside. It was delicious, but unfortunately Bella and Brenda didn’t like it.

I ended up the day by taking some photos of historical buildings for my photoblog.

Have a nice week ahead everyone :).

Labour Day

2007-05-03T18:18:00.000+02:00

1^st May is Labour Day in Norway and also some countries in Europe. There is always a parade in town for this Labour Day. So two days ago we went to town to see this parade. We went also to the tower and Belbren (Bella and Brenda) really had a good time there. I took some pictures of the parade and the picture of Belbren playing with the old cannon.

Have a very nice weekend everyone :)

Bella's Turn

2007-04-04T07:19:00.000+02:00

I tried with two pictures. The first pic when she was 1.5 years old and the second one when she was 2.5 years old. Men's faces appear in both. She is indeed a bit tomboy and very strong :)

Brenda Celebrity Look-alikes

2007-03-25T17:46:00.000+02:00

I found this in Dina's blog and I tried it out on Brenda. I tried several times using different photos and Shirley Temple always appears. I guess she really looks like her :)

What do you think?

I Dressed Myself

2007-03-09T10:53:00.000+01:00

My daughter Bella likes hat so much. She wears not only her own hat but also the hat of her little sister and her pappa. She also sometimes uses her panty for her hat. And she wears them whenever she wants to, even inside the house.

Wearing her pappa's hat

Wearing her panty

She dressed Brenda too

Been in the Local Newspaper

2007-03-03T14:24:00.000+01:00

I had mentioned here few times that I have a photoblog about my beautiful city which makes me abandon this blog a little bit. This photoblog really something for me coz I do love taking pictures. And I’m not only showing one photo a day but also giving information regarding the photo I published.

I started this photoblog on June last year. Since then I have published nearly 250 photos of Stavanger. Many people have seen my photos and it really makes me happy. So, on 20th February, a journalist from the local newspaper Stavanger Aftenblad came to my house to interview me regarding this photoblog. This article has been published on Monday, 26th February. See the article here, but unfortunately it is in Norwegian language. Sorry, ....

So, if you love your city, why not show it to the world?

Meeting Friends

2007-01-11T21:34:00.000+01:00

Goodie! It took a looong time for me to write again. As you might know, I visited my home country few months ago. I had a very good time there despite of the weather which I don’t like very much. It was too hot due to a very long dry season but I enjoyed every single day of my visit. I met many relatives and friends.

In Bandung I met with Bunyamin who also has a photoblog ‘Bandung Daily Photo’. He works at Jamsostek not far from where I live. This was the first time I met him. We only know each other via internet. Isn’t it amazing how internet can connected people from around the world? He’s a nice guy and very friendly. Unfortunately I didn’t take a photo of us coz we were busy talking about many things especially about our photoblog which we both agree that it is fun.

Then I met with TJ, a big fan of Elvis Presley. I have known him since I was in high school. He suggested meeting at Bougenville Valley which I have posted before. I was glad that we met there coz the place is very beautiful and it is a good place to relax or playing for the children. We spent about three hours there and before we parted, he gave me two CD’s of Indonesian songs and one CD of Elvis’s songs. He is such a kind person. I listen to the songs many times and never bored coz the songs are the chosen one. Thank you daddy TJ for your kindness. Here is the picture of him with my daughter Brenda.

In Jakarta I met with Linda whom worked at the same company with me for three years. But she has moved to another company and she’s very happy working there. I met her after lunch break in her new office. She’s kind of an always happy person, just like Stoney, remember that song? It was great to meet her again.

Before getting married, I have worked for more than 10 years and the most enjoyable times for me was when I worked at RCTI where I met and knew many people. Eka and Lana are two of them. So many unforgettable moments happened during my working there. Happy and sorrow. That’s why I was very happy to be able meeting those two nice girls again. After changing the place where to meet few times, we finally agreed to meet at Semanggi Plaza. It is a new and grand shopping mall center. It hasn’t completed yet when I left Indonesia two years ago. We chatted at food courth about two hours while eating the food we like. It was nice to know that they are both well and Eka will probably get married this year. I do hope that she will have a happy marriage.

The last one I met was Santy who has also a photoblog like I do, Jakarta Daily Photo. We knew each other from awhile back as we worked in the same company in 1996 and have been keeping in touch again recently. We met at Cilandak Town Square or Citos as many people used to call it. It was quite an interesting meeting for us coz Santy finally can see my daughters Bella and Brenda. Santy took Bella to play at the Timezone and she had a quite exciting experience in that place.

~ Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his/her place ~

Happy New Year 2007

2007-01-01T07:56:00.000+01:00

May the new year bring you:

Troubles that last only seconds
Giggles that last minutes
Chuckles that last hours
Laughs that last days
Smiles that last weeks
Happiness that last months
Friendships that last years
but most of all
LOVE that last a lifetime!

Happy new year everyone!

Bougenville Valley

2006-11-26T05:26:00.000+01:00

After spent 4 weeks time in Indonesia, we’re now back in Stavanger again. We had a very good time there although the weather was sooo hot and dry. Rain poured down only once during our stay in Bandung and Jakarta. We went to many nice places and I bought many Moslem clothes and hijab coz I couldn’t find any here in Stavanger. I had planned to meet up with some close friends, but I couldn’t meet all of them due to the limited time. I will tell you later about meeting some friends, coz now I want to tell you about a very nice and beautiful place I visited in Bandung that is Bougenville Valley.

This valley which is about 14 hectare belongs to Mr. Lambert, a friend of daddy TJ, a very good person I know for a long time. It is located at Cibodas village near Maribaya. There are many facilities in this place. You can stay a night in the villa or having a meeting or reunion. There is a playground where children can play and running around, two pools full of fish and one pool for those who like fishing. There is also a track for children who want to ride a bicycle, a big cage of birds, cows that produce milk which is distributed to the shop, and many other things. I and my daughters were really having a good time here. So thank you very much daddy TJ for bringing us to this beautiful valley and of course to you Mr. Lambert for your hospitality.

Here are some pictures I took at Bougenville Valley.

Coming Home

2006-09-29T11:13:00.000+02:00

When I got a tag few months ago about five wishes, I mentioned that my first wish was visiting my family. And now my wish has nearly come true. Insya Allah I will be in my home country to celebrate lebaran with my family. I have had everything needed for the trip. Passports (mine and my two daughters), the tickets, the presents for everybody, what else, hmmm … money of course for shopping shopping shopping, hehe. Oh God, I’m sooo exciting. I have started counting the days. Three more weeks and I’ll be there, be with my beloved family.

I will depart from here on 21st October and will arrive in Jakarta on 22nd. It is a long journey and I hope there will be no problem coz I will travel alone with my two little girls. My husband has to work so he can not come along. Both of them still ‘batita’ (under three years old). So, can you imagine how busy and tired I will be during the journey which will take at least 19 hours?

However, thinking of being with my family celebrating Eid makes me forget all of that. I’m just exciting and happy. Thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to meet my family again, insya Allah. So, Jakarta and Bandung, here we come ….

Paradox of our Time

2006-09-18T22:09:00.000+02:00

Today we have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment.

We have more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get to angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too often, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too little and lie too often.

We‘ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies, but have less communication. We are long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character; steep profits and shallow relationships.

More leisure and less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition; two incomes, but more divorce; fancier houses, but broken homes.

That’s why I propose, that as of today, you do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a special occasion.

Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.

Spend more time with your family and friends, eat your favorite foods, and visit the places you love.

Life is a chain of moment of enjoyment, not only about survival.

Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it.

Remove from your vocabulary phrases like “one of these days” and “someday”. Let’s write that letter we thought of writing “one of these days”.

Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them. Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life.

Every day, every hour, and every minute is special. And you don’t know if it will be your last.

Summer Has Gone

2006-09-08T21:37:00.000+02:00

Living in an arctic country makes me very happy when summer finally comes. (My husband used to say that summer in Norway is no more than two weeks if we are lucky, that is why Norwegians travel to warm countries in their summer-holiday). I love summer, and summer this year was very hot, long, sunny and nice. Sun was shining the whole day, no rain and the wind blowed softly. We went out very often, especially on Saturdays and Sundays.

Summer this year was special for us because of two things. Bella has starting going to kindergarden and Brenda can walk, although a bit wobbly. Life becomes easier for me and my hubby. I can be more relax after taking Bella to kindergarden coz I only have to look after Brenda. I have more time to do what I like to do, when Brenda takes a nap, such as downloading photos from my digital camera for my photoblog, go blogwalking to see the photo from other part of the world, calling my family in Jakarta and Bandung, solving Sudoku and doing housework peacefully.

But summer has gone, and autumn is coming. Here are some photos of Bella and Brenda playing on the beach.

What Man Can Not Do With Photoshop (2)

2006-09-04T09:50:00.000+02:00

Genetik Pemicu Wanita Selingkuh

2006-08-31T10:44:00.000+02:00

APA yang Anda lakukan, apabila istri berselingkuh? Menyakitkan memang, tapi itulah yang sering terjadi dalam dunia penuh kebebasan saat ini.

Ketika seorang wanita berselingkuh, tak jarang pria bertanya-tanya, apa kesalahan atau kekurangannya hingga pasangannya tega melakukan perbuatan yang diharamkan agama itu.

Fakta yang diungkap Prof Tim Spector dari Twin Research Unit di St Thomas’s Hospital London, menunjukkan kasus perselingkuhan justru sering tak memerlukan penyebab psikologis. Hasil studi paling gres malah menyingkap sifat suka berselingkuh itu berkaitan dengan faktor genetik.

Menurut Prof Spector, saat meneliti komponen genetik sejumlah orang kembar menemukan, jika satu dari orang kembar tersebut punya sejarah berselingkuh, 55 persen kemungkinan saudara kembarnya juga suka melakukan hubungan gelap.

"Kecenderungan untuk setia atau tidak, paling kental terlihat pada orang kembar identik, karena mereka mempunyai susunan gen yang sama. Angka tersebut jauh lebih tinggi dibandingkan kecenderungan wanita umumnya untuk berselingkuh yang hanya 23 persen," jelas Prof Spector.

Menurut Prof Spector, gen yang bertanggungjawab terhadap kecenderungan berselingkuh pada wanita, kemungkinan besar merupakan proses evolusi dari gabungan gen dari berbagai sumber.

"Akan tetapi sifat ini tampaknya tidak dikontrol satu gen saja, tapi sejumlah gen yang bekerja sama. Sepertinya dengan evolusi ini wanita menjadi lebih punya peluang untuk memilih yang terbaik," jelasnya.

Bagaimana risiko bagi kaum Adam? Dari penelitian terakhir di Jerman sungguh menakutkan. Pria yang tak setia, memiliki kemungkinan meninggal saat berhubungan seks lebih besar dibanding pria setia.

Pria yang suka berselingkuh diketahui lebih riskan terhadap serangan jantung dibanding pria setia. Tim peneliti dari Centre for Forensic Medicine di Frankfurt, mencoba meneliti catatan kematian dari 30.000 orang yang hidup dalam masa tiga dekade terakhir.

Dari tumpukan arsip kematian tersebut, mereka menemukan 60 kasus pria yang meninggal saat melakukan aktivitas seksual. Sebanyak 56 kasus, diketahui meninggal akibat serangan jantung saat berhubungan intim. Empat kasus sisanya, meninggal saat melakukan masturbasi.

Dari 56 kasus pria yang meninggal akibat serangan jantung saat bercinta, hanya empat pria yang saat itu intim dengan pasangan resminya. Selebihnya meninggal dalam pelukan kekasih gelap atau pekerja seks komersial di hotel.

Para peneliti Jerman hanya bisa berspekulasi, mengapa pria meninggal di pelukan selingkuhan lebih banyak dibanding yang di pelukan pasangan resmi. "Kemungkinan besar mereka berusaha terlalu keras, melebihi kapasitas tubuhnya untuk membuat selingkuhannya terkesan," jelas seorang jubir Centre for Forensic Medicine Frankfurt.

Nah, sayang nyawa atau selingkuh? atg

First Day

2006-08-14T21:23:00.000+02:00

Today is Bella’s first day goes to the playgroup. I think I’m more exciting than her, hehe. It starts at 10 am but I have prepared everything since 7 am. Too early, eh?

My father in law drove us to the playgroup and my mother in law stayed in my place to look after Brenda. Bella looked very excited but when we came into the entry door, she refused to come inside. She looked confuse, but it’s only for 2 minutes. When she heard other children’s voice, she smiled and running inside. Then she forgot me. She was busy playing and talking (still with her own language) with other children.

According to Hilda (Bella’s teacher) there are 19 children in that class from 3 – 5 years old. So Bella is the youngest one coz she’s just 2 years 8 months. The playgroup building is big and nice. The place to play for children is also wide with many kinds of games. I like this playgroup and I like Bella’s teacher as well. She is kind, friendly and full of attention. I hope Bella will be able to speak properly very soon.

On Hiatus

2006-07-17T10:18:00.000+02:00

I'm now on doing something very interesting and lots of fun so I will not post for a while. But I will keep blogwalking and leave comment on other blogs whenever I have time.

Ruling on Halloween

2006-07-09T09:25:00.000+02:00

What is the ruling on celebrating Halloween?

HALLOW'EEN Harmless or Haraam? An Islamic Perspective.

Every year, on the evening of October 31st, millions of children across North America paint their faces, dress up in costumes, and go door to door collecting treats. The adults often decorate their houses with ghostly figures, carve scary faces on pumpkins, and put candles in them to create "Jack-O-Lanterns." Unfortunately, among the millions of North Americans indulging in this custom, many are also Muslims. This article will shed some light on the significance and origins of Hallow'een, and why Muslims should not participate in it.

Origins of the Hallow'een Festival
The ancient Celtic (Irish/Scottish/Welsh) festival called Samhain is considered by most historians and scholars to be the predecessor of what is now Hallow'een. Samhain was the New Year's day of the pagan Celts. It was also the Day of the Dead, a time when it was believed that the souls of those who had died during the year were allowed access into the "land of the dead". Many traditional beliefs and customs associated with Samhain continue to be practiced today on the 31st of October. Most notable of these customs are the practice of leaving offerings of food and drink (now candy) to masked and costumed revelers, and the lighting of bonfires. Elements of this festival were incorporated into the Christian festival of All Hallow's Eve, or Hallow-Even, the night preceding All Saint's (Hallows') Day. It is the glossing of the name Hallow-Even that has given us the name of Hallow'een. Until recent times in some parts of Europe, it was believed that on this night the dead walked amongst them, and that witches and warlocks flew in their midst. In preparation for this, bonfires were built to ward off these malevolent spirits.

By the19th century, witches' pranks were replaced by children's tricks. The spirits of Samhain, once believed to be wild and powerful, were now recognized as being evil. Devout Christians began rejecting this festival. They had discovered that the so-called gods, goddesses, and other spiritual beings of the pagan religions, were diabolical deceptions. The spiritual forces that people experienced during this festival were indeed real, but they were manifestations of the devil who misled people toward the worship of false idols. Thus, they rejected the customs associated with Hallow'een, including all representations of ghosts, vampires, and human skeletons - symbols of the dead - and of the devil and other malevolent and evil creatures. It must also be noted that, to this day, many Satan-worshippers consider the evening of October 31st to be their most sacred. And many devout Christians today continue to distance themselves from this pagan festival.

The Islamic Perspective

Iman (faith) is the foundation of Islamic society, and tauheed (the belief in the existence and Oneness of Allah) is the essence of this faith and the very core of Islam. The safeguarding of this iman, and of this pure tauheed, is the primary objective of all Islamic teachings and legislation. In order to keep the Muslim society purified of all traces of shirk (associating partners with Allah) and remnants of error, a continuous war must be waged against all customs and practises which originate from societies' ignorance of divine guidance, and in the errors of idol worship.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) issued a stern warning: "Whoever imitates a nation is one of them!" (Abu Da'oud). Muslims should heed this warning and refrain from copying or imitating the kufar in their celebrations. Islam has strongly forbidden Muslims to follow the religious or social customs of the non-Muslims, and especially of the idol-worshippers or those who worship the devil. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "By Him in Whose hands is my life, you are ordered to enjoin good and forbid evil, or else Allah will certainly afflict you with torments. Thereafter, even your du'a (supplications) will not be accepted." (Tirmidhi).

From an Islamic standpoint, Hallow'een is one of the worst celebrations because of its origins and history. It is HARAM (forbidden), even if there may be some seemingly good or harmless elements in those practises, as evidenced by a statement from the Prophet (s.a.w.) "Every innovation (in our religion) is misguidance, even if the people regard it as something good" (ad-Daarimee.). Although it may be argued that the celebration of Hallow'een today has nothing to do with devil-worship, it is still forbidden for Muslims to participate in it. If Muslims begin to take part in such customs, it is a sure sign of weak iman and that we have either forgotten, or outrightly rejected the mission of our Prophet (s.a.w.) who came to cleanse us from jahiliyyah customs, superstitions and false practises. A Muslim should be a model for others in faith and practice, behaviour and moral character, and not a blind imitator dependant on other nations and cultures.

Even if one decides to go along with the outward practises of Hallow'een without acknowledging the deeper significance or historical background of this custom, he or she is still guilty of indulging in this pagan festival. Undoubtedly, even after hearing the Truth, some Muslims will still participate in Hallow'een, send their kids "trick-or-treating," and they will try to justify it by saying they are doing it merely to make their children happy. But what is the duty of Muslim parents? Is it to follow the wishes of their children without question, or to mould them within the correct Islamic framework as outlined in the Qur'an and Sunnah? Is it not the responsibility of Muslim parents to impart correct Islamic training and instruction to their children? How can this duty be performed if, instead of instructing the children in Islam, parents allow and encourage their children to be taught the way of the unbelievers? Allah exposes these types of people in the Qur'an: "We have sent them the Truth, but they indeed practise falsehood" (23:10). Muslim parents must teach their children to refrain from practising falsehood, and not to imitate the non-Muslims in their customs and festivals. If the children are taught to be proud of their Islamic heritage, they themselves will, insha Allah, abstain from Hallow'een and other non-Muslim celebrations, such as Christmas, Valentines Day, etc. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: The Final Hour will not come until my followers copy the deeds of the previous nations and follow them very closely, span by span, and cubit by cubit (inch by inch). (Bukhari). Islam is a pure religion with no need to accomodate any custom, practise or celebration that is not a part of it. Islam does not distinguish between "secular and sacred;" the shari'ah must rule every aspect of our lives.

What to do on Halloween.

We have established, beyond doubt, that the celebration of Hallow'een is absolutely forbidden in Islam. It is HARAM. The question arises as to what to do on this night. Muslim parents must not send their kids out "trick-or-treating" on Hallow'een night. Our children must be told why we do not celebrate Hallow'een. Most children are very receptive when taught with sincerity, and especially when shown in practice the joy of their own Islamic celebrations and traditions. In this regard, teach them about the two Islamic festivals of Eid. (Eid-ul-Fitr is fast approaching, and this is the perfect time to start preparing them for it.) It must also be mentioned that, even Muslims who stay home and give out treats to those who come to their door are still participating in this festival. In order to avoid this, leave the front lights off and do not open the door. Educate your neighbours about our Islamic teachings. Inform them in advance that Muslims do not participate in Hallow'een, and explain the reasons why. They will respect your wishes, and you will gain respect in the process. Finally, we must remember that we are fully accountable to Allah for all of our actions and deeds. If, after knowing the Truth, we do not cease our un-Islamic practises, we risk the wrath of Allah as He himself warned us in the Qur'an: "Then let them beware who refuse the Messenger's order lest some trial befall them, or a grevious punishment be afflicted upon them!" (24:63). This is a serious matter and not to be taken lightly. And Allah knows best. May Allah guide us, help us to stay on the right path, and save us from all deviations and innovations that will lead us into the fires of Hell.

Thank You

2006-06-29T23:03:00.000+02:00

Hi, I'm Brenda. I would like to say thank you to mamma, pappa, big sister, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends for congratulating me on my birthday. I really appreciate it. Here is my photo showing my teeth. I have six teeth now.

A Letter to Brenda

2006-06-24T07:49:00.000+02:00

Dearest Brenda,

One year ago, around 00.30 am, mamma felt the first contraction. Usually it’s just a sign but this contraction was so hurt and three minutes later it came again. So mamma called your pappa which was still at the mosque doing dzikir (repeatedly chant part of the confession of faith, as a form of worship). Of course no reply coz pappa always turns off his mobile or change into silent mode while praying at the mosque. So mamma left a message then called your grandpa and grandma. Just after mamma hung up the phone, pappa called and said that he’s on the way home. Pappa then woke the Somalian neighbor up to look after your big sister while waiting for your grandpa and grandma came home. After that we hurried to the hospital. 40 minutes later you were born. So from the first contraction until you were born it was only 1 hour and 15 minutes. It was very fast but so painful as well. Normally from the first contraction until giving birth is between 4 until 10 hours or more. They said it is an intensive contraction. That’s why the painful was unbearable. Mamma also had bleeding. They had to press mamma’s stomach to get the blood out. Then they gave mamma infusion on both hands. Three bottles of liquid on each hand enter mamma’s body. Mamma still felt so much pain that made mamma trembling like an addicted person or freezing. Mamma’s head moved from side to side and mamma’s teeth chattering. Finally they gave mamma painkiller tablet. After the pain was subsided they did the catheter coz mamma’s bladder was full due to the 6 bottles of infusion. They still did that every 3 hour for 2 days coz mamma couldn’t urinate.

Dear Brenda, that was mamma’s experience of bringing you to this world. Yes, it was painful not to mention the pain that mamma felt during pregnancy. When mamma’s pregnancy was 7 months, mamma’s legs turned dark like having bruises. And it was hurt everytime mamma moved the legs. Mamma had to drag both legs to walk. It took few minutes to walk from bedroom to the kitchen coz mamma had to walk very slowly. Very often mamma got cramp at calf when stretching after sleeping. However, all pains were gone when mamma saw your beautiful innocent face. You opened your eyes just for a second as if you wanted to say hello. The happiness mamma felt that moment was indescribable.

Today you are 1 year old. I know you can’t read yet but someday when you are big enough, mamma will show you this letter. So you will understand that there is no other love like a mother’s. Love for her child. All I have to offer is a promise of a lifetime of love. A promise of the greatest love of all.

Happy birthday my dear one. Wish you will become a pious child. May Allah grant you all the happiness in the world and bless you forever.

Much much love from mamma.

What Can Man Not Do With Photoshop (1)

2006-06-19T08:35:00.000+02:00

To the Beach

2006-06-11T19:28:00.000+02:00

It’s summer time now. Today sun shined no rain, no cloud and the wind blow softly. It’s a very nice weather. So we decided to go for a walk. First we went to Godalen beach where my husband used to swim. After finished swimming we went to the kolonihage (allotment garden) to eat waffel and drink cola light. Then we walked to another beach near my house. I let Bella playing with water and sand. Her shoes and clothes wet but I didn’t care as long as she happy and enjoyed playing on the beach. I just lied down on the grass while watching Brenda walked here and there. She can walk now, Masya Allah. She could walk one day before turning eleven months.

Here are some pictures of them.

All About Me

2006-06-04T16:35:00.001+02:00

I like many things …

I like all kinds of music as long as it is nice to hear and have deep meaning – especially ballad and country.

I like action, comedy, drama and romantic movies. I don’t really like horror movies not because I’m scare but mostly because it has no ending.

I have a good sense of humour.

I like working with computer and I’m very happy that I have my own Portable PC.

The most important thing in my life is my daughters. They are the light of my life. They make me strong in facing this hard life. Can’t imagine what kind of life is without having them by my side. I never stop thanking Allah for giving me such cute and beautiful daughters.

I like to write though I am not a good writer … as you can see.

I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t smoke but I don’t mind being around drinkers and smokers. Though sometimes they’re really bother me.

I am a homey person. I like to just hanging around in my home.

I am not a good cook though I can do pretty well when I’m in the mood.

I don’t like going to the disco or bar. To me it’s just wasting the time and money for nothing useful.

I like going to the cinema. But I don’t go there for quite some time cause I cannot leave my daughters alone at home unless I have somebody who can look after them.

I don’t like people talking nice and sweet about me when I’m around but talking bad behind my back.

I am a very impatient person. I want to do everything quick.

When it comes to a relationship, to me honesty is above all.

I don’t like red roses because it reminds me of something which will hurt my heart. So please don’t send me red roses on my birthday or talking about it with me.

I sometimes act like a child. Don’t know why … it’s just happen once in a while.

I am trying my best to be a good mamma for my daughters. I want to be their best friend as well.

I’d like to … someday … travel around Europe, Japan, Brazil, New Zealand and many others.

There were times in my life where money was unimportant. And I hate to face the facts that money is everything at some stage.

I am a religious person and I like to study Al Qur'an by myself or by reading other people's writing. I go to the party sometimes mostly like a birthday party or wedding or just few friends gather together.

My family means so much to me and I will protect them with all my might.

I like coffee and tea with milk and sugar.

I used to work in office and the best time I’ve ever had was when I work at RCTI, the biggest TV station in Indonesia. I love how we, the crew, stick together day and night. It’s like having a new big family. I miss those guys.

I like everything organized and planned. Though sometimes spontaneity is fun.

I’m a dreamer. I like to day dream about different things … I know …nothing will happen in the next second unless I do something. But that’s just what I like to do.

Blue, white and black are my favourite colours.

I don’t really like chocolate. I love spicy food (not very hot though), fried noodle, fried rice, rujak and sate.

I don’t have a serious hobby like others who likes gardening for example where they spend hours planting stuff; or sports – where they swim, run, cycling without ever feeling over exercised. But I like taking pictures though not professionally, more for fun.

I like singing … don’t have a nice voice, just love doing it.

I think the list is getting too long now. Are you still reading it? If yes, will you drop me a comment just for fun?

4 things

2006-05-28T12:19:00.000+02:00

Got tag again from Mala and this is my answer.

4 jobs you’ve had in your life
a. PT. Ulah Esti Sukur, as a secretary to the Sales Manager
b. PT. Unggul Cipta Trans, as a secretary to the Project Manager
c. Club Bali Tropic, as an Executive Secretary
d. RCTI, as a secretary to the Executive Producer

4 movies you could watch over and over
a. The Sound of Music
b. An Officer and the Gentleman
c. Dirty Dancing
d. Pretty Woman

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch
a. Friends
b. Ally McBeals
c. E.R.
d. Dr. Phil

4 places you’ve lived
a. Pariaman (West Sumatra), 6.5 years
b. Kabanjahe (North Sumatra) 5.5 years
c. Bandung, High School – University
d. Jakarta, until 2002

4 of your favourite foods
a. Sate Padang (Satay)
b. Mie Goreng (Fried Noddles)
c. Gulai Otak + Paru Goreng (terjemahin inggrisnya, tepatnya apaan yak)
d. Ayam Panggang (Grilled Chicken)

4 websites you visit daily
a. Hotmail
b. My Friend’s Blog
c. Muslim WakeUp
d. Indonesian Publication Homepage

4 tagged
a. Rosy
b. Yuli
c. Rahma
d. Gondhez

Various

2006-05-26T07:03:00.000+02:00

16th May
I got the result of the second exam for my Norwegian course. This time I was number two. A young girl from Germany got the highest grade. A bit disappointed but never mind.

17th May
It’s Independence Day of Norway. I just stayed at home with Brenda since it was raining the whole day. But my husband and Bella went to town to see the parade and had lunch at the concert house afterward. At five in the afternoon we went to my husband’s cousin for dinner. Her name is Bjørg. This was the first time for me to be in her place. It was a nice apartment with three bedrooms. And she is a good cook. I enjoyed so much the dinner.

20th May
We visited the daughter in law of my husband’s friend at the hospital who just gave birth to a sweet baby girl.

23rd May
We had dinner at my parents in law. It was a nice dinner and Bella ate more than usual.

24th May
I invited my friend for dinner. She is from China and married to a Norwegian man. They have had one child, a boy, and 14 months now. Bella as usual was very happy playing with other kid. She talked a lot eventhough still with her own language and laughing and running cheerfully. If the weather is nice we will visit them next Sunday.

Well, I had good times last week. It is spring now and hopefully the weather will be nicer and warmer. Have a nice weekend everyone!

My Daughters (2)

2006-05-13T22:33:00.000+02:00

It’s been quite some time since the last time I wrote about my daughters. So this time I will post about them.

Bella is almost 2.5 years now. She’s getting stronger and more demanding. She can walk from home to town which is about 2 km and every time we pass the playground, she will stop and play there. She likes dancing and watching TV especially music and cartoon movies. She talks a lot but still talking in her own language. It’s not English, Indonesian or Norsk. I think she combines all those three languages. Maybe she confuses hearing three languages at the same time. Mid of August she will start going to kindergarden and hopefully she can speak properly after being around with many children.

Brenda is now 10 and half months. She has started to walk by holding on to the chair, sofa, table, etc when she was 9 months. Sometimes she walks without holding on to anything 3 or 4 steps. She is very fast and strong. She can lie on her stomach by herself when she was 7 weeks. She can sit when she was 4 months. She can stand by holding on to the edge of her box when she was 6 months. She always moving everytime I hold her and keeps turning her body and makes me very tired.

I love my daughters so much and I feel so blessed. I always thank Allah for giving me healthy and gorgeous daughters. They light of my life.

My Bag

2006-05-10T14:06:00.000+02:00

I got another tag from Rosy to tell about what is in my bag. When I’m still working as a Secretary I used to bring many things in my bag. But now I’m married and not working anymore … so let me see.

If I go out alone I only bring 2 things in my tiny bag.

1. Mobile Phone
Must bring this everywhere I go so me and my husband can communicate anytime needed.

2. Wallet
It contains of money, coins, visa card, member card of Coop and photos.

If I go to my Norwegian course I will bring:

1. Mobile Phone

2. Books
There are 2 writing books, Arbeidsbok and Tekstbok.

3. Wallet

4. Ballpoints, pencil, eraser, etc.

If I go out with my kids I will bring many things which are mobile phone, wallet, handkerchief, pacifier, bottles of milk, nappies, wet tissue, and the blanket.

I never bring a comb coz I don’t need it since I wear hijab now. If it is winter I bring gloves and will wear it only if the temperature is minus degree.

That’s all folks.

Dugnad

2006-04-29T13:48:00.000+02:00

Dugnad means a voluntary communal work. It’s an old tradition here in Norway. It can be done in the area where you live, in the kindergarden or other places. Many people come to work together. Some people repair or fixing something, some other cleaning the street from rubbish or painting. And some other makes food and tea or coffee for everybody. So today is dugnad day for Storhaug communal where I live. It starts at 12 pm til 3 pm in the afternoon. My husband works together with other people and he takes Bella with him. I can not take part because I have to look after my other daughter.

We have this kind of tradition also in my home country and I think this is a very good tradition. Especially in the western or European countries where many people are busy with their job or their business that they have no time to socialize with other people even with their own neighbours. With this kind of activity not only the neighborhood become clean and nicer but also everybody has time to chit chat with each other.

Here is the picture of few people doing dugnad that I take from the balcony of my house.

Min Familie

2006-04-19T09:10:00.000+02:00

In my previous post I talked once about my Norwegian course (norskkurs). One of my friends wanted to know what this language sounds like. So this time I post the story in Norwegian language. Here it is. For Norwegian readers, pardon me if you find many mistakes. I’m still learning.

Jeg har en stor familie. Jeg har tre brødre og to søstre. Mine foreldre kommer fra Vest Sumatra, en av de fem store øyne i Indonesia. Jeg levde min barndom i Nord Sumatra men jeg gikk på skole fra barneskolen til universitet i Bandung, hovedstaden av Vest Java. Min far er 73 år gammel nå, og min mor er 70 i juli i år. De er gamle, og jeg savner dem mye. Min eldste bror bor i Jakarta, hovedstaden av Indonesia, også min søster bor der. Begge to er gift. Jeg har to yngre brødre, og en av dem arbeider på et cruiseskip. Han vil komme hjem i oktober. Min andre bror og min yngre søster bor i Bandung med mine foreldre. Jeg har tre nieser og to nevøer. Jeg elsker min store familie og jeg håper at jeg kan besøke dem igjen snart.

The Pink Dress

2006-04-14T11:09:00.000+02:00

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word. Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.

The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes. Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone. As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress. It was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her. Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different.

As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form. I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk.

I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello." The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi"; after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty.

I asked the girl why she was so sad. The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, "Because, I'm different." I immediately said, "That you are!" and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know." "Little girl," I said, "You remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent." She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?" "Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all people walking by." She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am." "I'm your Guardian Angel, with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things. She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done". I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?" She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You're the only one that could see me," and then she was gone. And with that, my life was changed dramatically. So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you. Share this to everyone that means anything at all to you.

Like the story says, we all need someone...
And, every one of your friends is an Angel in their own way. The value of a friend is measured in the heart. I hope your Guardian Angel watches over you always.

School Memento

2006-04-09T10:28:00.000+02:00

Got tag from Rahma and Amellie about my school memento. Here is the story.

1. How many schools did I go to?
My family moved few times so … let me see. First TK (kindergarden) was in Pariaman, where I was born. Second SD (elementary school) still in Pariaman but only until first grade coz my dad was moved to Kabanjahe in North Sumatra. We lived there for 5.5 years before moving to Bandung. Third was still SD at SD Ciujung II Bandung. Then SMP (junior high school), SMA (senior high school) and the last STBA (sekolah tinggi bahasa asing) formerly known as ABA (akademi bahasa asing). I got my S1 (bachelor degree) in 1992. So total 6 schools.

2. Was I the studios nerd, or the last minute hero?
From TK until graduated from STBA, I always become a good student. Sometimes I wanted to be naughty or doing something bad or making a trouble in the class like everybody else but I couldn’t. I didn’t know why, I just couldn’t. Sometimes my bad side told me to do this or that but my good side always winning. Alhamdulillah.

3. Was I the class ‘taiko’ or the teacher’s pet?
I never became the class ‘taiko’ but I think I was the teacher’s pet when I was in TK and SMP. And I think I was the teacher’s pet because I behaved and smart. I was a very quiet and an introvert person when I was young. I didn’t care with everybody and never sosialize with other people. I didn’t know why I was like that at that time but I understand now the reason. And I promise myself that my children will have a much much better treatment than I had.

4. What was the biggest rule I broke in school?
Not any.

5. Three subjects I enjoyed
English
Kesenian (art) especially singing. I like singing although my voice is not so good. Just love to sing whenever I want to, while I’m cooking, ironing or even when I’m in the bathroom.
Biology, both theory and experiment

6. Three teachers that inspired me
Nobody inspired me but I do admire one lecturer when I studied in STBA. He had a wide knowledge about the subject he taught. He was not a text-book teacher. And he was a very good muslim. He passed away few years ago because he suffered a stroke.

Well, that’s my story. Not interesting though but still good to be remembered.

Hiatus

2006-03-15T07:15:00.000+01:00

Due to one and another reason sadly I must say that I will be hiatus for some time. I don’t know how long but I will keep blogwalking and leave comment on other blogs if I have time. Have a nice life everybody.

My Five Wishes

2006-03-09T09:26:00.000+01:00

Got an estafet from Yuli to write about my dreams. I had many dreams which were sometimes very nice, sometimes weird or I didn’t remember at all when I woke up. Most often I got a dream that I could fly. And I really hate it if I had a dream being chased by a crazy man, and when I got home I couldn’t open the door while the crazy man getting closer. At the end I just screamed then I woke up panting. So dreams are vary and sometimes unlocigal. Wishing is something else. So now I’m going to tell you about my five wishes.

1. I want to visit my family
It has been more than one year since I left my family. I miss them so much. I really want to visit them especially since my second daughter was born on June last year. Hopefully I can go to Indonesia mid November this year together with my two daughters and my hubby of course.

2. I want to go hajj
This maybe is the wish of all muslims on earth. Insya Allah, God will bless us (me and my hubby) to go hajj some day.

3. I want to have my own house
It’s very expensive to buy or to build a house here. Mostly people here get some loans from the bank in order to buy a house or an apartment which will take years to pay back. So if we have enough money someday I want to have a house with garden where my children can play around.

4. I wish my big brother has a job
I always feel sad everytime I think of him. He’s an engineer in civil, smart, caring and always nice to everybody. He has sent hundreds of application letters. He spent much money to buy envelopes and stamps, to copy many certifcates for each letter and for transportation to go here and there if he had interviews. But I have no idea why he never gets a job. He hardly ever gets angry. He had few girlfriends who like or even love him. But he always said, “How can I marry her if I can’t give her food, a place to live, etc.” Finally there’s a woman who really loves him and accept him the way he is. She has quite a good job and she still wants to marry him although he has no job. He only has some small projects which he himself doesn’t know if he will gain money from it or not. All of us always encouraging him to get married and at last they got married. I do hope that he will get a job coz he really needs it let alone his wife is expecting a baby right now.

5. I wish I will go to heaven
Because hell is too hot and too painful for me. I pray Allah everyday to put me and all people that I love in heaven. Amen.

Actually I still have many other wishes but since the limit is five so that’s all everybody. I think I will not give the estafet stick to others but whoever has a wish please do write it. I’m waiting.

The Exam

2006-02-28T10:00:00.000+01:00

After being postponed few times since the teacher was sick finally I had my first modul test for my Norwegian course 2 weeks ago. Last Thursday I got the result and you know what, I passed the test with the highest grade in the class. I don’t believe it. I know I will pass the test but getting the highest grade? Wow …

For other people maybe this is not something special but to me it means a lot. I’m a housewife with two small daughters who need fully attention. I’m very busy with endless housework every day and still have to go shopping for our daily needs. So I hardly have time to study or doing my homework. I’m not complaining about my life, just telling the reason why I’m very happy with this result. It encourages me to study harder. I hope I will be able to speak norsk fluently soon. I really do.

5 Hal Aneh Mengenai Diriku

2006-02-14T13:25:00.000+01:00

Waduh dapat lemparan tongkat estafet dari Ina mengenai lima hal aneh mengenai diriku, jadi mikir juga nih. Sebetulnya mungkin bukan aneh ya, lebih tepatnya hal yang tidak lazim bagi orang kebanyakan.

1. Takut Liat Air Terjun
Entah kenapa aku kok takut banget liat air terjun. Orang bilang itu phobia. Aku gak cuma takut liat aslinya, liat air terjun di TV atau bahkan photo aja gak berani. Aku udah coba memerangi perasaan takut itu tapi belum berhasil. Perlu proses kayaknya ya. Pernah beberapa tahun yang lalu kami sekeluarga pulang ke kampung halamanku di Bukittinggi. Ada tempat namanya Lembah Anai, air terjun persis di pinggir jalan raya. Dari jauh udah kedengaran suara air terjunnya. Aku udah ketakutan aja denger gemuruh airnya dan minta jangan berhenti disitu, lewat aja. Tentu saja semua protes, adekku yg cowok malah pengen berenang di situ. Airnya emang jernih banget, katanya, karena aku gak berani liat. Aku ingat papaku memaksaku untuk turun dari mobil. Aku coba tapi baru beberapa langkah aku dah menjerit panik. Akhirnya, sementara yang lain asyik maen air, berenang, photo2, aku mojok di mobil sambil nutup mata dan kuping.

2. Gak Suka Coklat
Mungkin aku satu-satunya cewek di dunia yang gak suka coklat. Gak tau kenapa pokoknya gak suka aja. Gak cuma coklat batangan, semua makanan yang berbau coklat aku gak suka. Kue basah, kue kering, es krim, dll. Tapi anehnya aku suka minum susu coklat.

3. Gemes Liat Bayi
Aku tuh kalo liat bayi suka gemes pengen nyubit atau nyium pipinya apalagi kalo bayinya lucu. Kadang tanpa permisi ama yang punya bayi, tuh bayi langsung aja tak cium atau cubit pipinya. Kalo sang ibu kelihatannya agak2 judes baru deh nanya dulu. Bayinya boleh dicium mbak ? Untunglah sekarang aku udah punya 2 bayi yang lucu-lucu. Jadi gemes ama bayinya bisa tersalurkan.

4. Kalo Ngomong Tangannya Suka Gerak
Ini nih yang bener2 susah diilangin. Kalo lagi ngobrol pasti deh tangannya ikutan ngobrol. Gerak kesana kemari. Gak peduli topik obrolannya apa nih tangan lebih heboh dari pada mulut. Waktu aku ngeluh ke hubby soal ini dia bilang, “it’s okay, to me it’s cute” hehe.

5. Sarapan Dulu Baru Mandi
Jorok ya, abisnya laper. Aku gak begitu suka ngemil. Biasanya makan malam jam 6 atau 7. Nah setelah itu gak ada lagi yang masuk ke perut. Paling makan buah2an. Jadi dari jam 8 malam sampe pagi perutnya kosong. Terang aja kelaperan pagi harinya. Makanya langsung sarapan. Perut kenyang baru deh sikat gigi dan mandi.

Itu deh sebagian dari hal2 yang aneh pada diriku. Ni tongkat estafet harus di lempar ke lima orang kan ya. Aku lemparin ke - sebelumnya maaf lo kalo tidak berkenan – Mala Fdm, Amellie, Rosy, Santi dan Ni Londo. Tak tunggu lo ceritanya.

Prophet Cartoons - What Went Wrong?

2006-02-13T12:00:00.000+01:00

The comment below was given by Fahad Khan that I think should be read by all muslims.

Seeing the building madness that has been unraveling in Muslim countries over the Danish cartoon depictions of the Prophet Mohammed has left me wondering: ‘how did it come to this?’

Embassies are burnt, people dying in the riots, shops and windows broken, Danish products banned and the Danish flag being burned.

The Danish newspaper that originally published the cartoons possibly has a readership which does not exceed a few thousand…Yet, with the behavior of the Muslim mobs, the cartoons in question have been reprinted in Spain, Germany, France, Australia, and have circled the entire globe through the power of the internet to be seen by many millions.

Are the Muslim mobs happy with what they have achieved?

Most would probably say ‘yes’, that although the offending cartoons have been reprinted and the viewership has increased hundredfolds, the Muslims have shown that they have the ‘power of the mob’ and that Europe and the other countries are now taking the Muslims very seriously and they realize that Muslims can and will yield immense power (mob power).

Heaven forbid that we ask the Muslims where this ‘mob power’ was during the US invasion and occupation of Afghanistan where many thousands of innocents were murdered or maimed.

Heaven forbid that we ask the Muslims where this ‘mob power’ was during the US invasion and occupation of Iraq where thousands were murdered, thousands were maimed, and millions were made to live under the oppression and tyranny of a sadistic occupation to enjoy the torture chambers, depleted uranium, white phosphorous, cluster bombs, night raids, Apache gunships and foreign backed death squads.

Heaven forbid that we ask the Muslims where this ‘mob power’ was during the Zionist invasion and occupation of Palestine where millions were driven from their homes, and millions made to live under the oppression and tyranny of a sick Zionist people who believe God commands them to do these things (be He glorified from such blasphemy!)

Here is what I see the lesson that the Muslim mobs have sent to Europe and the US:

- It is OK to invade our lands;
- It is OK to murder our people;
- It is OK to torture our loved ones;
- It is OK to rape our women;
- It is OK to steal our wealth and resources;
- It is OK to desecrate the Book of God (Quran) by urinating on it and defecating on it in the US run prisons of Iraq, Afghanistan, and Guantanamo.

But under no circumstances, never ever, never, is it OK to make fun of our Prophet or draw any cartoons depicting him!

Can no one else see the patheticness of this situation?

What has gone wrong with the Muslims in general and this episode in particular is that they have abandoned the directions given by God Almighty on how to deal with such situations…

They have opted for a ‘mob rule’ mentality which has only escalated matters and made them look like fools, while what they should have done was ignore this entire episode as being the work of people who are simply ignorant, else we are guilty of being like them:

“And the servants of the Almighty who walk on the Earth in humility and if the ignorant speak to them, they Say: 'Peace.'" (Quran 25:63)

“And it has been sent down to you in the Scripture, that if you hear God’s revelations being rejected and ridiculed in, then do not sit with them until they move on to a different subject; if not, then you are like them. God will gather the hypocrites and the disbelievers in Hell all together.” (Quran 4:140)

Of course, what the Muslim mobs have done is disregard God’s instructions and have traded them for the instructions of their sheikhs and imams, perhaps they can lead them to a road better than God and His messenger can:

“On the Day when their faces will be turned over in the Fire, they will Say: ‘Oh, we wish we had obeyed God, and obeyed the messenger’ And they will Say: ‘Our Lord, we have obeyed our leaders and our learned ones, but they misled us from the path.’” (Quran 33:66-67)

Will it be a surprise that the complaint of the Prophet Mohammed on the Day of Judgment against his very followers is that they have abandoned that which he was sent to preach?

"And the messenger said: 'My Lord, my people have deserted this Quran.'" (Quran 25:30)

Let us all leave this madness and return to the teachings of God as delivered by His messenger…

Only when Muslims begin adhering and upholding God’s system of truth, justice, equality, and transparency will they be given the respect and security of this world and the hereafter.

Otherwise, they risk being humiliated in this world and the hereafter for their following of superstitions, injustice, intolerance, and leaders/imams who teach them to say and do other what God has revealed.

My Father's Birthday

2006-01-30T11:48:00.000+01:00

There are four people in my family’s member who has a birthday in January. They are my hubby, my eldest brother, me and my father. Today is my father’s birthday. He’s 73 years old now. Yes, he’s old but he still has a good memory, good hearing and still able to drive my mother to and from her friend’s house. He always wakes up early in the morning and walks to the mosque to do his morning prayer while many other people still sleeping.

He’s tough and has a strong faith. I always come to him everytime I have a problem. It seems that he can overcome everything. And sometimes just talking with him has made me relieve and the problem’s gone. He said to me once that every problem has a solution. We just have to find a way out, be patient, keeps praying and insya Allah with God’s help everything will be okay.

God how I love, respect and admire him. To me, he is the best father in the world.

Happy birthday papa, may Allah bless you forever. I miss you so much and I hope we will meet again someday.

Funny Pictures 2

2006-01-27T07:28:00.000+01:00

Norskkurs

2006-01-19T20:37:00.000+01:00

Early this month I started my Norwegian course. I go to my norskkurs twice a week, every Tuesday and Thursday from 17.30 til 20.15. I take the evening class because I must look after my two little daughters in day time. Morning class is free of charge but even though I have to pay for my evening class, I feel glad because in this class most of the students are employees. They are mature and professional so it is more things to talk about. Some of them are funny also. For example, when the teacher asked us to write about what do you like to do in free time, one said, “Jeg liker å danse på bordet”. It means I like to dance on the table. Isn’t it funny? Or when the teacher asked what did you do this weekend, one said, “Bare slappe av”, meanings just relax. The whole weekend? Gee.

Anyway, the main reason I take this course because I want to have a job. Before married I used to work. So sometimes I feel kind of missing working in an office. But I can not have a job if I can’t speak norsk. Besides it is good if I can speak norsk well. Not only I will be able to understand the program on TV, can read newspaper, magazine, books, etc. but also it shows appreciation to the country where I live.

My Birthday

2006-01-09T10:43:00.000+01:00

He remembered! My husband remembered my birthday. Happy ? Definitely. Funny is he was so afraid that he won’t remember it so he bought a present few days before and gave it to me and said that I should open it on my birthday. But then he became impatient and kept asking me to open it. Hi hi hi … lucu ya. My parents in law also gave me a present and a nice card. They’re very kind to me and never forget my birthday.

For some people holding a big party with hundreds of guests and having many presents on their birthday is an important thing. The more expensive the present they get the happier they are. But to me the attention is all that matter. I don’t need a big party or expensive gifts. Just a simple word like congratulation or gratulerer med dagen has made me happy. It is the thought that count.

Since nobody sings a happy birthday song for me so I will sing it for myself.

“Happy birthday to you
You were born in the zoo
With the lion and the tiger and the monkey like you”

Ha ha .. just kidding.

“Happy birthday to me 2x
Happy birthday dear Tanty
Happy birthday to me"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My Husband's Birthday

2006-01-04T13:48:00.000+01:00

Yesterday my husband had his birthday. Actually we wanted to celebrate it at least invited my parents in law but unfortunately we couldn’t do it because I just starting my norsk course again so I had no time to cook or preparing things for a little party. However after coming home from the course I did try to make a chocolate cake but it was terrible. I took the cake out of the pan when it was still too hot so it broken. Well, my husband said, don’t worry with the form. The most important is the taste. So, it reminds me of the comment given by my friend to my other friend about his affair with an ugly woman. He said, “The face may ugly like satan but tasty like sticky rice.” Muka boleh kayak setan tapi rasa kayak ketan. Oops sorry, I think I’m out of the context now.

Back to my husband’s birthday. Last year I didn’t give him a present coz we’re not together. I mean I was in Bandung visited my family at that time but I did congratulate him. So this time I gave him a nice wooden box complete with the measurement tool to keep the moisture inside the box is correct. He likes cigar very much so with this box he can put all of his cigars in one place and need not to worry anymore about the cigars getting dry. He’s very happy with that box and it makes me happy as well to see him happy.

Well, happy birthday my dear husband. More years much more wiser.

She

2006-01-02T10:15:00.000+01:00

few questions
unsatisfied answers
people said curiousity and honesty can hurt you
she feels hurt now
she thought it’s over
wondering will things happened in the past ever happen again?
should she start to worry?
or just relax and hope
that nothing’s bad will happen
that everything will be okay

Kesaksian Tragis

2005-12-30T12:07:00.000+01:00

Ini ada kiriman kisah nyata dari seseorang yang tak mau disebut namanya. Kisah ini sangat menyentuh dasar hati kita sebagai manusia. Kekejaman manusia atas nama hukum dan keadilan ataupun keserakahan ternyata lebih biadab tiada ampun. Beruntunglah kita mempunyai Tuhan yang Maha pengampun. Apabila kita mengaku akan segala kesalahan kita dan bertobat tentu Dia akan mengampuni kita. Dari kisah ini saya berharap dapat menjadi refleksi kita bersama dan bisa kita ambil hikmahnya. Semoga Tuhan memberi belas kasihan dan mengampuni si gadis ini. Amin

25 tahun yang lalu.

Inikah nasib? Terlahir sebagai menantu bukan pilihan. Tapi aku dan Kania harus tetap menikah. Itu sebabnya kami ada di Kantor Catatan Sipil. Wali kami pun wali hakim. Dalam tiga puluh menit, prosesi pernikahan kami selesai. Tanpa sungkem dan tabur melati atau hidangan istimewa dan salam sejahtera dari kerabat. Tapi aku masih sangat bersyukur karena Lukman dan Naila mau hadir menjadi saksi. Umurku sudah menginjak seperempat abad dan Kania di bawahku. Cita-cita kami sederhana, ingin hidup bahagia.

22 tahun yang lalu.

Pekerjaanku tidak begitu elit tapi cukup untuk biaya makan keluargaku. Ya, keluargaku. Karena sekarang aku sudah punya momongan. Seorang putri, kunamai ia Kamila. Aku berharap ia bisa menjadi perempuan sempurna, maksudku kaya akan budi baik hingga dia tampak sempurna. Kulitnya masih merah, mungkin karena ia baru berumur seminggu. Sayang, dia tak dijenguk kakek-neneknya dan aku merasa prihatin. Aku harus bisa terima nasib kembali, orangtuaku dan orangtua Kania tak mau menerima kami. Ya sudahlah. Aku tak berhak untuk memaksa dan aku tidak membenci mereka. Aku hanya yakin, suatu saat nanti, mereka pasti akan berubah.

19 tahun yang lalu.

Kamilaku gesit dan lincah. Dia sekarang sedang senang berlari-lari, melompat-lompat atau meloncat dari meja ke kursi lalu dari kursi ke lantai kemudian berteriak "Horeee, Iya bisa terbang". Begitulah dia memanggil namanya sendiri, Iya. Kembang senyumnya selalu merekah seperti mawar di pot halaman rumah. Dan Kania tak jarang berteriak, "Iya sayaaang", jika sudah terdengar suara "Prang". Itu artinya, ada yang pecah, bisa vas bunga, gelas, piring, atau meja kaca. Terakhir cermin rias ibunya yang pecah. Waktu dia melompat dari tempat tidur ke lantai, boneka kayu yang dipegangnya terpental. Dan dia cuma bilang "Kenapa semua kaca di rumah ini selalu pecah, Ma?"

18 tahun yang lalu.

Hari ini Kamila ulang tahun. Aku sengaja pulang lebih awal dari pekerjaanku agar bisa membeli hadiah dulu. Kemarin lalu dia merengek minta dibelikan bola. Kania tak membelikannya karena tak mau anaknya jadi tomboy apalagi jadi pemain bola seperti yang sering diucapkannya. "Nanti kalau sudah besar, Iya mau jadi pemain bola !". Tapi aku tidak suka dia menangis terus minta bola, makanya kubelikan ia sebuah bola. Paling tidak aku bisa punya lawan main setiap sabtu sore. Dan seperti yang sudah kuduga, dia bersorak kegirangan waktu kutunjukkan bola itu. "Horee, Iya jadi pemain bola."

17 Tahun yang lalu.

Iya, Iya. Bapak kan sudah bilang jangan main bola di jalan. Mainnya di rumah aja. Coba kalau ia nurut, Bapak kan tidak akan seperti ini. Aku tidak tahu bagaimana Kania bisa tidak tahu Iya menyembunyikan bola di tas sekolahnya. Yang aku tahu, hari itu hari Sabtu dan aku akan menjemputnya dari sekolah. Kulihat anakku sedang asyik menendang bola sepanjang jalan pulang dari sekolah dan ia semakin ketengah jalan. Aku berlari menghampirinya, rasa khawatirku mengalahkan kehati-hatianku dan "Iyaaaa". Sebuah truk pasir telak menghantam tubuhku, lindasan ban besarnya berhenti di atas dua kakiku. Waktu aku sadar, dua kakiku sudah diamputasi. Ya Tuhan, bagaimana ini. Bayang-bayang kelam menyelimuti pikiranku, tanpa kaki, bagaimana aku bekerja sementara pekerjaanku mengantar barang dari perusahaan ke rumah konsumen. Kulihat Kania menangis sedih, bibir cuma berkata coba kalau kamu tak belikan ia bola !"

15 tahun yang lalu.

Perekonomianku morat marit setelah kecelakaan. Uang pesangon habis untuk ke rumah sakit dan uang tabungan menguap jadi asap dapur. Kania mulai banyak mengeluh dan Iya mulai banyak dibentak. Aku hanya bisa membelainya. Dan bilang kalau Mamanya sedang sakit kepala makanya cepat marah. Perabotan rumah yang bisa dijual sudah habis. Dan aku tak bisa berkata apa-apa waktu Kania hendak mencari kerja ke luar negeri. Dia ingin penghasilan yang lebih besar untuk mencukupi kebutuhan Kamila. Diizinkan atau tidak diizinkan dia akan tetap pergi. Begitu katanya. Dan akhirnya dia memang pergi ke Malaysia.

13 tahun yang lalu.

Setahun sejak kepergian Kania, keuangan rumahku sedikit membaik tapi itu hanya setahun. Setelah itu tak terdengar kabar lagi. Aku harus mempersiapkan uang untuk Kamila masuk SMP. Anakku memang pintar dia loncat satu tahun di SD-nya. Dengan segala keprihatinan kupaksakan agar Kamila bisa melanjutkan sekolah. aku bekerja serabutan, mengerjakan pekerjaan yang bisa kukerjakan dengan dua tanganku. Aku miris, menghadapi kenyataan. Menyaksikan anakku yang tumbuh remaja dan aku tahu dia ingin menikmati dunianya. Tapi keadaanku mengurungnya dalam segala kekurangan. Tapi aku harus kuat. Aku harus tabah untuk mengajari Kamila hidup tegar.

10 tahun yang lalu.

Aku sedih, semua tetangga sering mengejek kecacatanku. Dan Kamila hanya sanggup berlari ke dalam rumah lalu sembunyi di dalam kamar. Dia sering jadi bulan-bulanan hinaan teman sebayanya. Anakku cantik, seperti ibunya. "Biar cantik kalo kere ya kelaut aje". Mungkin itu kata-kata yang sering kudengar. Tapi anakku memang sabar dia tidak marah walau tak urung menangis juga.

"Sabar ya, Nak!" hiburku. "Pak, Iya pake jilbab aja ya, biar tidak diganggu! ",pintanya padaku. Dan aku menangis. Anakku maafkan bapakmu, hanya itu suara yang sanggup kupendam dalam hatiku. Sejak hari itu, anakku tak pernah lepas dari kerudungnya. Dan aku bahagia. Anakku, ternyata kamu sudah semakin dewasa. Dia selalu tersenyum padaku. Dia tidak pernah menunjukkan kekecewaannya padaku karena sekolahnya hanya terlambat di bangku SMP.

7 tahun yang lalu.

Aku merenung seharian. Ingatanku tentang Kania, istriku, kembali menemui pikiranku. Sudah bertahun-tahun tak kudengar kabarnya. Aku tak mungkin bohong pada diriku sendiri, jika aku masih menyimpan rindu untuknya. Dan itu pula yang membuat aku takut. Semalam Kamila bilang dia ingin menjadi TKI ke Malaysia. Sulit baginya mencari pekerjaan di sini yang cuma lulusan SMP. Haruskah aku melepasnya karena alasan ekonomi. Dia bilang aku sudah tua, tenagaku mulai habis dan dia ingin agar aku beristirahat. Dia berjanji akan rajin mengirimi aku uang dan menabung untuk modal. Setelah itu dia akan pulang, menemaniku kembali dan membuka usaha kecil-kecilan. Seperti waktu lalu, kali ini pun aku tak kuasa untuk menghalanginya. Aku hanya berdoa agar Kamilaku baik-baik saja.

4 tahun lalu.

Kamila tak pernah telat mengirimi aku uang. Hampir tiga tahun dia di sana. Dia bekerja sebagai seorang pelayan di rumah seorang nyonya. Tapi Kamila tidak suka dengan laki-laki yang disebutnya datuk. Matanya tak pernah siratkan sinar baik. Dia juga dikenal suka perempuan. Dan nyonya itu adalah istri mudanya yang keempat. Dia bilang dia sudah ingin pulang. Karena akhir-akhir ini dia sering diganggu. Lebaran tahun ini dia akan berhenti bekerja. Itu yang kubaca dari suratnya. Aku senang mengetahui itu dan selalu menunggu hingga masa itu tiba. Kamila bilang, aku jangan pernah lupa salat dan kalau kondisiku sedang baik usahakan untuk salat tahajjud. Tak perlu memaksakan untuk puasa sunnah yang pasti setiap bulan Ramadhan aku harus berusaha sebisa mungkin untuk kuat hingga beduk manghrib berbunyi. Kini anakku lebih pandai menasihati daripada aku. Dan aku bangga.

3 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu.

Inikah badai? Aku mendapat surat dari kepolisian pemerintahan Malaysia, kabarnya anakku ditahan. Dan dia diancam hukuman mati, karena dia terbukti membunuh suami majikannya. Sesak dadaku mendapat kabar ini. Aku menangis, aku tak percaya. Kamilaku yang lemah lembut tak mungkin membunuh. Lagipula kenapa dia harus membunuh. Aku meminta bantuan hukum dari Indonesia untuk menyelamatkan anakku dari maut. Hampir setahun aku gelisah menunggu kasus anakku selesai. Tenaga tuaku terkuras dan airmataku habis. Aku hanya bisa memohon agar anakku tidak dihukum mati andai dia memang bersalah.

2 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu.

Akhirnya putusan itu jatuh juga, anakku terbukti bersalah. Dan dia harus menjalani hukuman gantung sebagai balasannya. Aku tidak bisa apa-apa selain menangis sejadinya. Andai aku tak izinkan dia pergi apakah nasibnya tak akan seburuk ini? Andai aku tak belikan ia bola apakah keadaanku pasti lebih baik? Aku kini benar-benar sendiri. Wahai Allah kuatkan aku. Atas permintaan anakku aku dijemput terbang ke Malaysia. Anakku ingin aku ada di sisinya disaat terakhirnya. Lihatlah, dia kurus sekali. Dua matanya sembab dan bengkak. Ingin rasanya aku berlari tapi apa daya kakiku tak ada. Aku masuk ke dalam ruangan pertemuan itu, dia berhambur ke arahku, memelukku erat, seakan tak ingin melepaskan aku.

"Bapak, Iya Takut!" aku memeluknya lebih erat lagi. Andai bisa ditukar, aku ingin menggantikannya. "Kenapa, Ya, kenapa kamu membunuhnya sayang?". "Lelaki tua itu ingin Iya tidur dengannya, Pak. Iya tidak mau. Iya dipukulnya. Iya takut, Iya dorong dan dia jatuh dari jendela kamar. Dan dia mati. Iya tidak salah kan, Pak !". Aku perih mendengar itu. Aku iba dengan nasib anakku. Masa mudanya hilang begitu saja. Tapi aku bisa apa, istri keempat lelaki tua itu menuntut agar anakku dihukum mati. Dia kaya dan lelaki itu juga orang terhormat. Aku sudah berusaha untuk memohon keringanan bagi anakku, tapi menemuiku pun ia tidak mau. Sia-sia aku tinggal di Malaysia selama enam bulan untuk memohon pengampunan hukuman pada wanita itu.

2 tahun yang lalu.

Hari ini, anakku akan dihukum gantung. Dan wanita itu akan hadir melihatnya. Aku mendengar dari petugas jika dia sudah datang dan ada di belakangku. Tapi aku tak ingin melihatnya. Aku melihat isyarat tangan dari hakim di sana. Petugas itu membuka papan yang diinjak anakku. Dan 'blass" Kamilaku kini tergantung. Aku tak bisa lagi menangis. Setelah yakin sudah mati, jenazah anakku diturunkan mereka, aku mendengar langkah kaki menuju jenazah anakku. Dia menyibak kain penutupnya dan tersenyum sinis. Aku mendongakkan kepalaku, dan dengan mataku yang samar oleh air mata aku melihat garis wajah yang kukenal.

"Kania?"

"Mas Har, kau!"

"Kau ... kau bunuh anakmu sendiri, Kania!"

"Iya? Dia..dia .. Iya?", serunya getir menunjuk jenazah anakku.

"Ya, dia Iya kita. Iya yang ingin jadi pemain bola jika sudah besar"

"Tidak ... tidaaak ... " Kania berlari ke arah jenazah anakku. Diguncang tubuh kaku itu sambil menjerit histeris. Seorang petugas menghampiri Kania dan memberikan secarik kertas yang tergenggam di tangannya waktu dia diturunkan dari tiang gantungan. Bunyinya "Terima kasih Mama". Aku baru sadar, kalau dari dulu Kamila sudah tahu wanita itu ibunya.

Setahun lalu.

Sejak saat itu istriku gila. Tapi apakah dia masih istriku. Yang aku tahu, aku belum pernah menceraikannya. Terakhir kudengar kabarnya dia mati bunuh diri. Dia ingin dikuburkan di samping kuburan anakku, Kamila. Kata pembantu yang mengantarkan jenazahnya padaku, dia sering berteriak, "Iya sayaaang, apalagi yang pecah, Nak". Kamu tahu Kania, kali ini yang pecah adalah hatiku. Mungkin orang tua kita memang benar, tak seharusnya kita menikah. Agar tak ada kesengsaraan untuk Kamila anak kita. Benarkah begitu Iya sayang?

Sumber : TRUE STORY

My Brother

2005-12-25T11:12:00.000+01:00

Herryalmas. We call him Eri. He was born on Christmas day 25th of December. In a way the whole world celebrating his birthday J. He’s the tallest one in my family. He has a kind heart but a little bit emotional. It’s easy for him to become angry or being upset. But I think after getting married and have a handsome son he becomes calmer.

He’s working in a cruise. I haven’t seen him for long time and now on his birthday I feel longing for him. We’re very close. He always tells me everything and comes to me if he has a problem. I’m sure he feels lonely right now especially on his birthday. Far away from people he loved dearly. I know exactly how he feels coz I’m no different with him. Live away from my beloved country but at least I have a loving husband and my two sweet daughters with me.

Happy birthday dear bro. Even you’re not around you will always on our mind and heart. Be patient and be strong. Time will fly fast and soon you’ll be home.

Wedding Anniversary

2005-12-15T23:55:00.000+01:00

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my marriage, something that I considered as one of many important days in my life. I wanted to make this day special because today 3 years ago I started my new life as somebody’s wife. I made a nice dinner and a simple cheese cake to celebrate it. But nothing special happened since my husband didn’t remember that today is our wedding anniversary. I thought he would have noticed it when I said that I will make a cake today since I don’t make it often. I’m not good in making a cake anyway. Only after I gave him a letter about my feeling and congratulated our wedding anniversary he realized it. He said unlike women men don’t remember such thing. Is it true or he just making an excuse of his neglecting and ignorant? Should I feel sad? At least he said thank you and later at night he said he loves me and that I’m a good mother to our daughters. I just hope next year he will remember my birthday and our wedding anniversary and surpise me with something that I never experience before.

Why ???

2005-12-11T15:44:00.000+01:00

Why people have a secret? Is it necessary? Why people lie? Because they want to hide the truth or because they embarrase of what they have done. Why they embarrase? It’s because they have done something stupid. Why they do that? It’s because they have no brain or because they have no faith or iman. It’s just as simple as that.

Funny Pictures

2005-12-09T11:36:00.000+01:00

What do you think of those pictures ?

"Dad, read it out loud, please ..."

2005-12-06T16:25:00.000+01:00

One evening Budi, a successful executive, was busy as usual with the paper works he brought home from office, coz there will be a very important general meeting with the shareholders the next morning. When he was reading through those office documents, his daughter Jessica came closer, stood right beside him, holding a new storybook.
The cover of the book was a cute little angel, which attracted Jessica’s attention. “Dad, look!” Jessica was trying to attract her dad’s attention. Budi glanced over his glasses and looked at her. The sentence came out was only “Wow, a new book, Jessica?”

“Yes, daddy” Jessica said cheerfully. “Read it for me, please,“ asked Jessica softly.
”I’m very busy right now,” said Budi quickly. Then he turned back his attention to the papers in front of him. Jessica stood silently but she didn’t give up. With soft and whining voice she said again “Dad, mom said, you must read for me.”
Budi started to feel irritated, “Jessica, daddy is very busy now, ask your mom to read it, okay?”
“But mom is always busy. Look dad, the pictures are cute.”

“Next time Jessica. Go away! Daddy has many things to do!” Budi tried to concentrate his attention to those papers works. Minutes passed, Jessica took a deep breath and remained still where she was standing with hope, and then she started again.
“Dad .., the pictures are nice. You must be like it.”
“Jessica, daddy said, next time!!” Budi scolded her.

This time Budi succeeded in making the spirit of little Jessica gone. Almost crying, with tears in her eyes, she walked away. “Yes dad, next time.” Before going she came closer to her daddy and while touching his hands gently, she put the story book in her dad’s lap. “Dad, if you have time, read it out loud please, so I can hear it.”

Day by day passed, and two weeks had already gone, but still he didn’t fulfil the request from little Jessica. The story book of a cute angel, he never got around to read for her. Until one afternoon there was a very hard noise “Bang ..!!”

A few neighbours hysterically informing him that little Jessica had an accident. A drunken man driving his car at a high speed crashed into her in front of the house. Jessica’s body was thrown a few meters. The ambulance came as soon as possible. On the way to the hospital, little Jessica said in a whisper “I’m afraid daddy, I’m afraid mommy, Jessi loves mom and dad.” Blood kept coming out from her mouth and she died when they arrived at the hospital.

What had happened that day really shocked Budi’s heart. No time anymore to fulfil the promise. What was left now is only regret. He couldn’t fulfil a very simple request from his sweetheart. Still fresh in his memory, his daughter’s little hand, begging him to read a story for her. That touch feels so meaningful now, “ … dad, read it out loud please, so Jessica can hear it …” he could still hear what Jessica has said in his mind.

One afternoon, again left with only the silence of his heart. He will never again hear the laughing of little Jessica. Budi started to open the storybook of a cute angel which he took from a bunch of Jessica’s toys in the corner of her room. The book was not new anymore. Its cover was torn away. Some unmeaning writing decorated the pages like a sweet memories from little Jessica. Budi strengthen his heart, with tears in his eyes he opened the first page and read it out loud. He tried hard to read it loud. He kept reading it loud, page by page, with tears rolling down his cheek. “Jessica, listen, daddy is reading it for you …”

After reading a few more words, he begged again, ”Jessica, please forgive daddy. Daddy loves you …” As if every word in the book cut into his heart. The pain in his hart was unbearable, Budi kneeled and cried . . . begged for one more chance to learn how to love.

Original Title : "Papa, baca yang keras ya..." (Suara Merdeka Cyber News)

Translated by : Tablaa

Files

2005-12-02T10:37:00.000+01:00

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in a room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “People I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalogue system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory could not match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories, other a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.” The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.”

Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.”

Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 30 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!”

In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.

The title bore “People that I Have Taught about Allah”. The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sob so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the over-whelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room.

I must lock it up and hide the key.

Bella's Birthday

2005-11-26T18:43:00.000+01:00

My first daughter Bella is 2 years old now. I held a small party for her second birthday yesterday, 25th of November. Not many people I invited only my parents in law and my close friend with their children. I made tongseng, fried noodle with shrimp meat ball, salad and martabak telor. I didn’t make birthday cake coz I don’t know how to make it L. But luckily my mother in law brought a world’s best cake and Bella liked it. To be honest, I don’t really like eating cake but this cake I must say is very delicious. I ate it a lot. Anyway, the party was successful and everybody said that my cooking was good. All of the tiredness I felt the whole day in preparing everything for this party is gone. I feel satisfied and happy but the most important is my daughter’s happiness. She was very happy last night. She got many nice gifts and had lots of kisses. She danced and laughing cheerfully until the guests left.

These are the gifts

With grandma and grandpa

Having fun with bigger friends

The Miser and the Angel of Death

2005-11-13T10:20:00.000+01:00

A miser had accumulated, by effort, trade and lending, three hundred thousand dinars. He had lands and buildings, and all kinds of wealth.
He then decided that he would spend a year in enjoyment, living comfortably, and then decided as to what his future should be.
But, almost as soon as he had stopped amassing money, the Angel of Death appeared before him, to take his life away.
The miser tried, by every argument which he could muster, to dissuade the Angel, who seemed, however, adamant. Then the man said:
‘Grant me but three more days, and I will give you one-third of my possessions.’
The Angel refused, and pulled again at the miser’s life, tugging to take it away.
Then the man said:
‘If you will only allow me two more days on earth, I will give you two hundred thousand dinars from my store.’
But the Angel would not listen to him. And the Angel even refused to give the man a solitary extra day for all his three thousand pieces.
Then the miser said:
‘Please, then, give me just time enough to write one little thing down.’
This time the Angel allowed him this single concession, and the man wrote, with his own blood:
‘Man, make use of your life. I could buy not one hour for three hundred thousand dinars. Make sure that you realize the value of your time.’

My Daughters

2005-11-09T09:24:00.000+01:00

My first daughter, Bella 23 months. The second one, Brenda 4 months.

smiling

half smiling

love little sister

Far More Precious Than Diamonds And Pearls

2005-10-30T10:51:00.000+01:00

The following incident took place when Muhammad Ali's daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were not modest. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffer escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father's suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."

He looked at me with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too."

Dinner

2005-10-21T13:07:00.000+02:00

After been married for almost 3 years, yesterday for the first time I had gut to invite my parents in law for dinner. Perhaps you’re wondering why it takes so long for me to do that. It’s because the situation at that time was impossible for me. It’s a long story. But sometimes I invited them for tea or coffee with some cakes.

Back to dinner, to be honest I was very nervous. I was afraid they don’t like my cooking. Besides it’s Ramadhan and I was fasting so I could only taste the food when it’s time to breakfasting. I made chicken soup (soto ayam kuning) with martabak telor. Two hours before dinner I had started to cook. I was very busy and luckily my daughters were very nice that day and not being naughty at all.

Finally they came and dinner was ready. We sat down at the table and started to eat. I couldn’t eat until they gave a comment about my cooking. To my surprise they said my cooking was very good. I was so relieved and started to eat. Before they left my house my father in law said that I should invite them again next week and of course I said I will. That was a nice dinner and my daughter ate more than usual. However, I still think that I’m not a good cook though I can do pretty well when I’m in the mood.

Worth Telling Today

2005-10-19T19:09:00.000+02:00

Got an email from a good friend of mine when we still working at this company. She told me that she’s getting divorce. I was shocked that I just staring at my portable PC, completely blank. I was very sad since I know her very well. We shared with each other the story of our love life. We cried together when we got broken heart. It made me sadder coz she responded to my good news about the birth of my second child -- which I had sent more than two months ago -- with this sad news. It wasn’t my marriage but for somehow I felt sad too. She’s a good person and a good muslim as well. Luckily she has no children yet. Since the one who will suffer from a divorce are always the children. Sometimes I wonder why bad things very often happen to good people. But one thing I know for sure that on no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. I think every single thing that happen in this world has a purpose. We just don’t know yet. Well I hope she’ll be strong in facing this misfortune. And I do pray Allah it will never happen to me.

Kisah Sepotong Kue

2005-10-12T09:45:00.000+02:00

Seorang wanita sedang menunggu di bandara suatu malam. Masih ada beberapa jam sebelum jadual terbangnya tiba. Untuk membuang waktu ia membeli buku dan sekantong kue di toko bandara, lalu mencari tempat untuk duduk. Sambil duduk wanita itu membaca buku yang baru saja dibelinya. Dalam keasyikannya ia melihat lelaki di sebelahnya dengan begitu berani mengambil satu atau dua dari kue yang berada di antara mereka. Wanita tersebut mencoba mengabaikan agar tidak terjadi keributan. Ia terus membaca, mengunyah kue dan melihat jam. Sementara si Pencuri Kue yang pemberani menghabiskan persediaannya. Ia semakin kesal sementara menit menit berlalu.

Wanita itupun sempat berpikir: ”Kalau aku bukan orang baik sudah kutonjok dia!”. Setiap dia mengambil satu kue si lelaki juga mengambil satu. Ketika hanya satu kue tersisa, ia bertanya-tanya apa yang akan dilakukan lelaki itu. Dengan senyum tawa di wajahnya dan tawa gugup, si lelaki mengambil kue terakhir dan membaginya dua. Si lelaki menawarkan separo miliknya sementara ia makan yang separonya lagi. Si wanita pun merebut kue itu dan berpikir: ”Ya ampun orang ini berani sekali, dan ia juga kasar malah ia tidak kelihatan berterima kasih”. Belum pernah rasanya ia begitu kesal. Ia menghela napas lega saat penerbangannya diumumkan.

Ia mengumpulkan barang miliknya dan menuju pintu gerbang. Menolak untuk menoleh pada si ”Pencuri tak tahu terima kasih”. Ia naik pesawat dan duduk di kursinya, lalu mencari bukunya yang hampir selesai dibacanya. Saat ia merogoh tasnya, ia menahan napas dengan kaget. Disitu ada kantong kuenya, di depan matanya !!!. Kok milikku ada disini erangnya dengan patah hati. Jadi kue tadi adalah milik lelaki itu dan ia mencoba berbagi. Terlambat untuk minta maaf, ia tersandar sedih. Bahwa sesungguhnya dialah yang kasar, tak tahu terima kasih. Dan dialah Pencuri Kue itu !

Dalam hidup ini kisah pencuri kue seperti tadi sering terjadi. Kita sering berprasangka dan melihat orang lain dengan kacamata kita sendiri serta tak jarang kita berprasangka buruk terhadapnya.

Orang lainlah yang selalu salah
Orang lainlah yang patut disingkirkan
Orang lainlah yang tak tahu diri
Orang lainlah yang berdosa
Orang lainlah yang selalu bikin masalah
Orang lainlah yang pantas diberi pelajaran

Padahal

Kita sendiri yang mencuri kue tadi
Kita sendiri yang tidak tahu terima kasih

Kita sering mempengaruhi, mengomentari, mencemooh pendapat atau penilaian atau gagasan orang lain. Sementara sebetulnya kita tidak tahu betul permasalahannya.

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

2005-10-05T13:31:00.000+02:00

tiada kata seindah zikir
tiada bulan seindah Ramadhan
ijinkan kedua tangan bersimpuh maaf
untuk lisan yang tak terjaga
janji yang terabaikan
hati yang berprasangka
dan sikap yang pernah menyakitkan

Maaf lahir dan bathin
Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa

2 Choices

2005-09-27T17:58:00.000+02:00

A good friend of mine send me the story below which I found very interesting that we can learn something from it.

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. Why ?

Because Jerry was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."

"But it's not always that easy,“ I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.

You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people will affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.
It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business. He left the back door of his restaurant open. And then ???

In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men. They want?
#123*+!@$%&*~

While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.… I saw Jerry about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared“ I asked?

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'.

"Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours -- that no one can control or take from you -- is your attitude. So if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

Now you have two choices to make:
1. You can ignore this story or
2. You can share it to someone you care about.

I hope you will choose #2. I did.

2005-09-24T07:01:00.000+02:00

Again he disappointed me ...

Sudoku

2005-09-21T21:57:00.000+02:00

There's a games in internet that I love to play. It's called Sudoku. It is a very interesting and challenging games coz you must use your brain to play it. So for people who likes to think this games is for you. Have fun.

Ibu

2005-09-17T23:07:00.000+02:00

There’s one movie that always makes me want to cry every time I remember it. The title is ‘Who Will Love My Children’. It’s about a mother with four children who’s dying due to a cancer she had. So she tried to give away her children one by one to a family who wants to adopt them before she left this world. Actually she wanted her four children being adopted by one family but of course it’s difficult to find a family who wanted to adopt four children at once. It’s very sad to see her walking from one house to another house asking if that family wanted to take her child. Some people refused by saying that they can’t afford to raise a child while from the house they have we can see that the owner of that house is a rich people. Some others just closed the door without even let her finished telling them why she wanted to give away her child. The saddest scene in this movie was when she walked in the rain shivering while holding her youngest child tight.

From this movie we can learn how big the love of a mother to her children. How she struggled between life and death in delivering her babies into the world. How she spent much energy to look after and raise them. She will do anything to make her children happy. But sometimes children do not realize that. They don’t respect her. Ah .. ibu, I miss you so much. I want to hold her and tell her how grateful I am for making me what I am now. She taught me how to behave, she taught me how to cook, and the most is she taught me about Islam and how to be a good muslimah. May Allah bless her in this world and hereafter.

Capek ... Capek ...

2005-09-15T22:42:00.000+02:00

Aduh biyung capek banget aku hari ini. Jam 5 subuh Bella putriku yang pertama udah teriak2 manggil mamma ... mamma ... padahal aku masih ngantuk berat. Daripada teriakannya bangunin Brenda putri keduaku yang baru 2.5 bulan, terpaksa deh aku bangun. Biasanya tiap bangun pagi dia langsung duduk di kursi malas sambil meluk boneka Teddy trus nunjuk remote control minta disetel TV nya.

Aku udah hapal banget ama ritualnya dia. Program TV kegemarannya film kartun anak2, hewan dan musik. Eh, walaupun baru 21 bulan Bella udah punya favorit lo. Dia suka banget ama Eminem dan musik lokal sini yang saking seringnya diputar, ampe ada yang protes di koran. Pusing katanya dengerin lagu itu mulu. Biasanya buat sarapan aku bikinin roti pake selai madu atau cereal. Atau kalau dia gak mau dua2nya aku bikinin lappe atau pancake. Dia bosenan soalnya. Jadi musti ganti2. Tapi hari ini tumben dia nolak semua yang aku sodorin. Aku marahin, dia tetep gak mau makan. Ya udah aku biarin aja dia duduk sendiri sambil nonton TV. Mungkin belum lapar. Berhubung gak bisa tidur lagi ya udah aku bikin sarapan untuk diriku sendiri. Suami sih belum bangun jam segini. Baru satu suap eh .. Brenda nangis.

Aku buru2 bikin susu. Air susuku dikit banget jadi musti tambah susu botol. Susunya abis dia tetep nangis. Aku coba susuin gak mau. Aku ganti popoknya masih nangis juga. Ya udah, akhirnya aku gendong bawa keluar. Sambil gendong Brenda aku harus ngikutin Bella kemana dia pergi karena dia suka mainin stop kontak atau nyalain kompor listrik. Bahaya kan kalo gak diawasin. Bisa2 kesetrum dia. Gak lama kemudian suamiku bangun. Dan Brenda nangis lagi pas aku tarok di box nya. Aku biarin aja karena aku harus bikinin sarapan buat doi. Pokoknya seharian itu dua2nya gak mau tidur. Bella maunya main terus dan Brenda maunya di gendong mulu. Jadi supaya bisa ngerjain housework ya aku terpaksa tarok Bella di kamarnya dan Brenda di box. Dan of course dua2nya menjerit protes. Setelah selesai baru aku keluarin Bella dari kamarnya dan gendong Brenda lagi. Jam 2 siang baru mereka tidur. Aku bisa sedikit istirahat tapi itu juga gak lama. Belum sejam Brenda udah nangis lagi. Untunglah akhirnya suamiku pulang. Dia gendong Brenda dan aku bukannya istirahat tapi masak buat makan malam. Dan Bella hari ini bener2 nakal. Dia bolak balik ke dapur minta ini dan itu. Makan malam terpaksa gantian. Suamiku makan malam duluan dan aku gendong Brenda sambil ngawasin Bella. Akhirnya jam 11 malam baru mereka benar2 tertidur. Hah ... what a day. Like my friend said, “being a housewife is a full time job”. And she’s absolutely right.

Friendship

2005-09-13T15:15:00.000+02:00

Two weeks ago one of some good friends of mine went back to Paris after living here for 3 years. The day when she left I didn’t feel anything just a bit sad. But now suddenly I feel kind of missing her. She’s a good person. She had invited me many times for makan-makan. She’s a good cook. She can cook many kinds of food. And my favourites are sayur asem and bakso. So even though I live so far away from Indonesia, thanks to her, I still can taste how delicious sayur asem and bakso are. She can also make bakso tahu. Hmmm …. make me hungry. So actually I don't miss her but her cooking, he he … just kidding.

She always has something to tell me every time we met. Good news or bad news or just some silly jokes. The environment will be more alive when she’s around. She’s a caring person. I do miss our togetherness. You see, friendship is like wine. It gets better as it grows older.

So Eka, if you by any chance read my blog, this posting is for you. Till we meet again.

2005-09-11T08:39:00.000+02:00

Funny how quickly life can change, how we rise and fall through so many snakes and ladders to fulfil our dreams and desires. But we get there in the end ...

2005-09-10T21:21:00.000+02:00

I think the key to have a perfectly good marriage is simply good communication. Being honest and saying exactly what you feel. The moment you start withholding things and burying them beneath the surface, it creates a wall between you that gets bigger every day, until one day you realise you can't see over the top.

Exciting

2005-09-08T17:16:00.000+02:00

My daughter can jump for the first time today. She was so happy and excited. She kept jumping and jumping and sometimes she lost her balance and fell down. But she didn’t cry and continued jumping. It is a great pleasure to watch her growing. I find it so exciting and enjoying every time she’s able to do something new. I was there when she can lie on her stomach. I was there when she can sit, crawl, stand and then walk. I was there when she got her first tooth. Then the second, the third, etc. And I promise to myself that I will always be there in every precious moment of her life.